


Walk Like A Man - Part Three

by mvernet



Series: Walk Like A Man [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, C-Section Somewhat Graphic, Canon-Typical Violence, Emergency Medical Care, Established Relationship, Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons, M/M, Mental Illness, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Violence Against Pregnant Person, delusional character, pregnancy hormones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-08-28 17:02:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16727394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mvernet/pseuds/mvernet
Summary: Danny is dealing with his pregnancy, his new home and his new life as a Williams-McGarrett. Steve struggles with deep-rooted fears of disappointing his partner for life, his step-kids and his  precious unborn child.Part Three and conclusion of Walk Like A Man. Takes place during and after season eight finale, episode twenty-five, Waiho Wale Kahiko. The one with the Russian Submarine. Ends before season nine begins.





	1. I'm In The Mood For Love

Steve and Danny were comfortably naked, stretched out in post-love-making bliss on their luxurious, king-size bed in their newly finished master suite. Steve was curled around his partner, enjoying the ocean view, as he carefully rested his head on Danny’s mostly healed chest. He listened to Danny’s rhythmic heartbeat and sent a silent prayer of thanks to whomever watched over his husband and his child. Steve’s hand lightly massaged Danny’s baby bump. At six months, the skin was soft and furry, and Danny’s belly firm and nicely round. Steve couldn’t get enough of seeing his man like this, but he had never had so much sex in his life. He was drained and exhausted. The soundtrack from Jersey Boys played softly on their new sound system.

I’m in the mood for love  
Simply because you’re near me  
Funny but when you’re near me  
I’m in the mood for love

There I go, there I go  
There I go, there I go  
Pretty baby, you are the soul  
Who snaps my control  
Such a funny thing  
That every time I'm near you  
I never can behave  
You give me a smile  
And then I'm wrapped up in your magic

Brightest stars that shine up above you  
In the clear blue skies  
How I worry 'bout you  
Just can't live my life without you  
Baby come here  
Don't have no fear  
Is there a wonder why  
I'm really feeling  
In the mood for love

“Danny. Danny. Look at me. I’m a dry shell of an old man. You are like a sexy sharksucker fish. You latch on and suck the life right out of me.”

“Want some cheese with that whine? I’m getting attitude and complaints? I am like your sex slave. All I want is to worship your body and I get whiny baby Stevie?”

“Danno, your fucking second trimester, over the fucking top sexdrive is beautiful, lover. I love how horny you are but I’m so tired!”

“Hey! Bodhi and Cliff both said it was normal. I’ve got sexy hormones and extra blood that goes right to my love muscle, making me horny for your perfectly sculpted bod that conveniently belongs to me to be used for my pleasure.”

“I know, sweetheart, I know. The endorphins are good for the bump, too.” Steve patted Danny’s stomach and spoke to the baby inside, “you like all that rockin’ and rollin’ don’t you kid?” 

Danny smiled and caressed Steve’s fuzzy head. “See? See how nurturing you are? You are going to be a great daddy. Bodhi said at six months the baby can hear and respond to our voices.”

Steve shrugged, still insecure about being a good father. He had the best example of an excellent father in bed with him. It was one of the things he loved about Danny. But his own childhood experiences frightened him. What if fucking up your kids was in the McGarrett genes? Steve kissed Danny’s bump and changed the subject. “What is this, being on a first name basis with your doctors?”

“You jealous? They saved my life, our baby’s life. Made it possible for me to be here with you married and six months along. They treat me like royalty, and they asked me to call them by their first names.”

“Okay, but I think it sounds disrespectful.”

“What is with you? I admire Bodhi and Cliff tremendously. I’ve never called you Commander, ever. That bother you?”

Steve looked up and shrugged.

“Oh. Lord! You want me to call you Commander? What? It turns you on?”

“I don’t know. No, yeah, maybe. Maybe if you do it, ‘cause you never do.”

Danny saluted. “Lieutenant Commander McGarrett. Request permission to come onboard, or maybe you’d like to merge your vessel with my dry dock?”

Steve chuckled. “That doesn’t even make sense, Danno.”

“Well, Commander, why don’t you put me through an inspection?”

“Fuck, babe. I’m getting hard. Again.”

Steve kissed his way up Danny’s flushed and ready body to his plump lips already red from kissing. Danny moaned. “Commander, what are your orders?” 

Steve growled and was just reaching for the lube when his phone rang. His hand changed direction and Danny swatted it. “Don’t do it, Commander. Don’t answer that stupid sim suckin’ phone!”

Steve saw the Governor's name flash on the screen and put the phone to his ear. “Governor, how can I help you?” Steve cringed as a pissed off Danny stormed off to the bathroom. 

Danny got into the shower and tried to get himself under control. He wasn’t really angry. How could he be when he had had volcano erupting sex just a few hours ago? He had to admit the latest hormonal nonsense wasn’t unpleasant. He felt invigorated, sexy and well-loved. All that blood going to his little brain had left him feeling masculine, even macho. He felt like he could take on a team of covert op ninjas if they threatened Steve or their family.

Danny fingered the ying/yang symbol hanging from its chain around his neck. He never took it off, loving how he would catch a glimpse of it in his rear view mirror or a storefront glass window. It was a symbol to him of his special ability to love Steve and give him all he needs.

By the time Danny got out of the shower, Steve was already dressed and ready to leave.  
“A Russian submarine has been spotted in the harbor. I have to go. I’m sorry, Danny. I don’t want to leave you. Is it okay if I run out?”

Danny smirked at his super-SEAL Steve politely asking permission when he had every intention of going no matter what Danny said. After Danny was shot, Steve had really been trying to change his outlook on life and include his husband in his decisions. Danny resisted the temptation to forbid Steve to leave. “Wait, wait. Of course you have go. It’s your job. My job, too. We’re not quite retired yet. Just give me a minute to get dressed, okay? I’m sorry I got mad. I was just a little disappointed, Commander.”

Steve grinned. One kind word from his Danno made him want to preen. “You coming to work? You sure you feel okay?”

Danny stopped and turned while buttoning a short-sleeved cotton shirt, one of the dozen or so Chloe had bought him in subdued patterns and colors for work. He had also put on a pair of black linen drawstring pants Chloe’s mom had custom tailored. The overall look was crisp and comfortable and hid Danny’s pregnant belly. If anyone outside of the ohana asked about the drastic change in style or bulk, Danny simply said he was still recovering from being shot in the heart, had gained a little weight during his convalescence and needed non-binding clothes for a while. That explanation usually produced a sympathetic pat on the back and an end to the awkward conversation.

“I’m fine, babe. Bodhi said I could work as long as I felt up to it. He cleared me for riding with you.”

Steve looked up from shoving potentially deadly, shiny objects into his cargo pants pockets. “Yeah, how’d that come about? You bat your baby blues and bite your lip at Bodhi till he caved? He does know what you do for a living, right?” 

Danny batted his eyes and bit his lip, making Steve shake his head and laugh. Then  
Danny gave a shrug. “I may have turned on the Williams’ charm to get my way. I’m not sayin’ I’m above a little dirty dealin’ if it keeps me next to my crazyman. I told him I’d use my common sense, wear a longer vest and hold myself back from situations where I could get hurt. Of course Bodhi never rode with you and assumed our typical day would not include high speed chases on cliffsides, explosions and me getting shot at. I didn’t set him straight.”

Steve walked over to Danny and embraced him tenderly. “Sweetheart, you better do exactly what you said you would do. If there’s the least hint of danger, you and our baby are staying far away from it. Got it, Mister?”

Danny saluted. “Da, Komandor. I will follow your orders. Hey, uh, I never saw a real Russian submarine. Wonder what they’re up to? Let’s go.”

~~**~~

Steve and Danny felt like they had arrived late to the party. The many colored lights of police and emergency vehicles flashed repeatedly across the beach parking lot. HPD officers shouted from bull horns and fired the short blasts of warning alarms into the slowly dissipating crowds of lookie-lous.

Steve plowed a path for Danny who was walking slowly behind him, fascinated by the submarine resting in the water like a red-starred beached whale.

Tani, Junior and Lou waved them in and handed them binoculars.

Junior explained mostly for Danny’s benefit, “It’s a Yasen class. Russia’s newest nuclear powered multi-purpose attack submarine, Sirs. It could wipe out this entire island in minutes.”

Tani snickered at Junior’s calm military demeanor. “So, Boss? We get fresh underwear and meet you at the bunker or what?” She smiled hopefully, but Steve’s intensity didn’t allow him to joke around. 

Lou cleared his throat and called out, “The boat’s name is Gorshkov. The Governor has Putin on the phone. It has no official authorization to approach the US. It’s a rogue ship.”

Steve looked around and examined the Coast Guard’s equipment. “Hey, boys? I need some flags.”

The Commander didn’t need to ask twice. In moments he was attempting to speak to the Russian boat in fluent semaphore.

“Steve!” Danny shouted. “Isn’t that, uh, form of communication a little out of date? I mean that’s a state of the art, fully functional war machine and they haven’t blasted us off the planet, so they are making quite a statement already without you makin’ us look like idiots. You look like you’re trying to land a plane, not talk to a submarine. There must be an easier way.”

Tani spoke up. “I see movement, Boss.”

Steve grabbed binoculars and took a look. Several armed seamen had exited the boat. Steve nodded. “Danny’s right. There is an easier way.” Steve approached the inflatable emergency dinghy that had an outboard motor attached and was ready to go. He addressed the waiting rescue team. “Hey, guys. Can I use your Zodiac, please?”

Danny tensed at Steve’s movements. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Danny felt a wave of protectiveness crash through his veins along with a surge of power that moved through his body, like a nuclear-powered adrenaline rush.

“Steve? What are you doing, Steven? What? You’re going to zip out there to that incredibly scary sub and do what? Arrest them? Mother Fudger!”

When Steve ignored him Danny took a step towards his partner. Lou gently took Danny’s arm to stop him. Lou, the experienced husband, didn’t think Danny should be in the field in his condition. Even with a custom tac vest, so many things could go wrong. Following Steve into danger was just one of them. Lou recognized that terrifying glazed look that accompanied raging baby hormones. “Danny, take it easy, man. You need to get out of this sun and off this beach to somewhere safe. I’ll handle Steve.” Lou called to his Boss. 

“Steve! This is out of our hands, bro. The President might be considering this an act of war. We need to wait…”

Steve ignored him and briefly inspected the motor on the Zodiac.

Danny twisted out of Lou’s grasp and pointed a finger of outrage in his face. “Steve’s. Steve’s. I’ll call the restaurant Steve’s. I’ll do it now in his memory it will be a fitting memorial to him.” Danny muttered as he turned, “Stupid, stupid, stupid, son of a tuny fish. I’m gonna kill him.”

As Danny stomped through the sand towards Steve, he placed a hand on his gun. He heard Lou’s voice behind him. “That's what we love about you Danny… always thinkin’ positive.”

Steve was already in the dinghy. He saw Danny coming towards him and smiled at his sentimental lover wanting to say goodbye. “Aw, aloha, babe. It’ll be okay. I’ll be back in a minute, don’t worry. I love you, Danno.”

Danny bit his lip and snarled. He took out his gun, clicked off the safety and aimed it at the Zodiac’s inflated side.

Steve stumbled back and landed on his butt in the Zodiac. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Danno, what’s with the gun?”

“Since you won’t listen to words, I will blow your fancy floatie out of the water if you try to board that submarine. You, Steven, are a floating piece of deep sea garbage. I hate you right now, so much! What do I have to do to convince you, you are not expendable? That you are indispensable and irreplaceable? That you are not alone anymore? That your ohana needs you?”

Steve stood cautiously with hands raised as the dinghy teetered gently between the ocean waves and the beach. “Danno, I know. I do know. Thanks to you, I’m starting to believe it. I have so much to lose if this vessel opens fire. I can’t let that happen. I’m not trying to be a hero, Danny, but I can diffuse this situation. I can feel it in my bones.”

Danny slowed his breathing and lowered his gun. He holstered it again and stepped towards Steve. Steve lowed his arms, expecting a brief, manly hug since they had a huge audience, and was surprised when Danny climbed clumsily on board. Danny sat and crossed his arms. “I’m coming with you.”

Steve through his hands back in the air. “What? No way, Danno. You are not gonna put yourself in danger. I refuse to put... “ Steve gestured wildly at Danny’s middle, “in danger!”

“Not your decision. I’m coming. It’s coming with me. Ya govoryu po-russki, I speak Jersey Russian mob, Tovarish. I can translate what they call you behind your back, cleaned up of course. I come or we don’t go at all.”

Lou, Tani and Junior watched helplessly from the beach as Steve and Danny steered the Zodiac into danger and boarded the Gorshkov.

~~~**~~~

Danny insisted on climbing on board first. His baby weight made him feel a bit off balance, and his chest muscles slowly recovering from his gunshot wound pulled painfully as he climbed the metal ladder. But his legs and arms were as strong as ever. Danny just wished Steve would stop hovering. “Steve, Danny whispered, “calm the ding-dong down. I thought you said you had this. Listen, follow my lead. You are the hoity-toity Commander and I am your lowly dog. That should be easy for you to do, you treat me like a dog all the time.”

Steve stopped for a moment, ignoring the twitchy sailors and the dozen or so guns aimed at them. “Danny! I never treat you like a dog.”

“All the time, Komandor McGarrett. You yell, ‘Danny’ across a crowded parking lot when I’m still talking to someone, turn your back and walk to the car expecting me to follow, jump in the passenger seat and stick my head out the window.”

“I don’t! And you like the window open.”

“You do, my Komandor. Although, I don’t mind the command, Danny-come.”

“Fuck, Danny. Not in front of the Russian Navy.”

“Watch your mouth, Komandor. A lot of these guys know high school English.”

Danny was silent for only a moment before he leaned in to whisper, “Danny. I’m sorry I treat you like a dog. I’ll try to stop doing that.”

“Wow. Uh, an apology? Just like that? Must be love, Komandor.”

Danny and Steve exchanged brief, nervous smiles as they were herded down a central corridor lined with sailors who were looking both frightened and angry. The submarine’s cramped space and dank air was nothing new to Steve, but it was still oppressive. Steve suddenly remembered Danny’s claustrophobia and kicked himself for caving in to his persuasive husband and his hypnotic baby blues. Steve fingered his wedding ring, and hoped nobody would notice Danny’s identical one or the odd bump under Danny’s shirt. This was one bad decision.

Steve was feeling far from confident when they entered the main bridge and the sailors stepped aside. Danny rubbed his hands together and gave a small bow as he addressed an older officer in slow, but perfect, Russian. Danny made the introductions as if he were a lowly cabin boy to Steve’s Intimidating Lieutenant Commander. Steve was getting antsy and didn’t like the way the officer was looking at his husband.

Danny turned to Steve, “Komandor McGarrett,” Danny said formally. Steve did not miss the twinkle in Danny’s eye and the tiny smirk at the corner of his mouth. “Their captain has been murdered. They have the body in a freezer unit, and they know who murdered him. I think that’s what he said, Sir.” 

Steve gave a slight eye roll. He was going to do such naughty things to his cabin boy when they got home. Luckily the officer seemed to appreciate the courtesy and addressed Steve in English.

“I am officer Vasili Shirokov. Your man tells me you are former military - army - but now are leader of a task force on the Hawaiian Islands.”

“Yes. That is correct. Except it was the Navy. The SEALs to be exact, I’m familiar with life on a boat, Sir.” Steve made a mental note to torture Danny an extra long time when he took his cabin boy to bed, for joking in a foreign language during a major crisis. Steve had to admit he was impressed by Danny’s talented tongue. “I was hoping to settle things without rattling sabers. I assure you I have the authority to help you if you are in need. What is the situation?”

Shirokov seemed to relax a bit and Steve got his confidence back. Obviously the officer was out of his league, used to following orders and hoping to pass the buck. Steve could play the role of take-charge Commander for him.

“Four days ago we had a mutiny at sea. Thirty-three of our crew of sixty-one participated with the intent to defect to the United States. The Senior Officer, Yuri Petrov murdered the Captain. The mutiny was put down hours ago, but Petrov escaped through a torpedo tube.”

Steve nodded. “So there was no intent to enter US waters.”

“Niet, Komandor. If Petrov had not escaped we would have turned around and returned to our assigned course. This incident would have been a blip on your radar.”

“Okay. I will have my task force look into the matter. We’ll find Petrov for you, I can promise that. What will be done with him, will be up to the Governor of Hawaii and your superiors. Your vessel is a crime scene, Sir. May we view the body?”

Shirokov gave a relieved if frustrated sigh and led the way. Danny stepped in front of Steve, like a good underling. Steve was able to give him a fond touch on his back as he squeezed by him. Steve whispered, “You good, Danno?”

Danny voice sounded a little strained as he touched Steve’s arm. “I’m handling it, but stay close.” 

Steve knew Danny’s claustrophobia was something he could control if he had to. Steve kicked himself again for ever letting Danny come out in the field with him. He felt like a selfish prick for wanting Danny by his side. Danny was his beloved, his pregnant spouse. He should be lounging on the lanai eating cocoa puffs and getting fat. “Will I ever get it right?” Steve mumbled to himself.

Danny was handed gloves and knelt to examined the body. It was assumed that the Komandor would only observe. Danny signaled Steve that he was fine with that. After a few minutes Danny stood, turned a little green, swayed until he regained his balance and composure and removed his gloves. In the past two months his morning sickness had been a problem, but at six months it left as abruptly as it began. All Danny needed was some fresh air that was not available. Danny shook off the queasiness and did his job. “Looks just like they said, Steve. Nothing odd going on. He’s just very dead.” 

“Okay. Thank you, uh, Williams. Shirokov, I see no reason not to believe you. We’ll be leaving now to start the search for Petrov. We’ll be in touch.”

“Spasibo, Komandor. But there is one thing. We would like your… man to stay with us until Petrov is found.” Shirokov waved his hand and Danny was surrounded by a circle of guns, all aimed at his heart. “Do not worry about him. He will not be harmed in any way. He can stay in the Captain's quarters, where he can have food and drink and will be quite comfortable.”

“Hell, no! Are you out of your fucking mind? Danny? A hostage? You want to make this a hostage situation? I’ll have fucking Armageddon down on your head before you can learn to whistle, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Sailor!”

Danny took a deep breath. He knew he would be safe, Shirokov was no cold-hearted killer, if he was, the harbor would be filled with thirty-two mutinous Russian sailors. He was probably trying to save his career. Danny held up a hand before Steve began World War lll over him. “Commander. Commander! Commander McGarrett! I volunteer.”

Steve stopped his rant and looked at Danny. “Wha’?”

“Commander, I volunteer to stay. It’s just until you find Petrov alive or dead. I would rather volunteer to stay than force a volatile hostage situation. I can interview the sailors involved. Maybe get them to talk about Petrov’s motives.” Danny turned and addressed Shirokov. “I’ll be able to do that and to contact my team and Commander McGarrett, right Sir?”

Shirokov nodded. “Da, that is very good. You are a brave man, Williams. That is quite acceptable. We can allow you access to a radio every four hours.” He waved again and the sailors lowered their weapons. Danny noted the crew was made up of were mostly young boys that looked mightily relieved.

Steve grabbed Danny’s arm and pulled him to his side. “It’s far from acceptable to me!”

“Steve. Don’t. I’ll be okay. Just go get Petrov. Put that magic SEAL training of yours to work, find Petrov and save the world. You haven’t done that yet this week. Then stop by and pick me up. I’ll let you buy me a lobster dinner when you’re done. Okay, Commander?”

“Danny, no, please?”

Steve looked lost and heartbroken. Danny patted his arm and smiled. “Go, Commander. Hurry back. Make sure the kids are taken care of, tell them Danno loves them… loves all his ohana, so much.”

Steve reached for the ying/yang charm on the chain around Danny’s neck. He fingered it gently, knowing Danny got the message even if he couldn’t say the words. “You stay safe, Williams.”

Danno let out the breath he was holding. “You too, Commander.”

Shirokov watched the lovers careful exchange with a raised eyebrow. If he thought the display a bit strange he didn’t let on. Danny watched as Steve was taken back to the release hatch. Shirokov took Danny’s arm. “This way, Williams.”

~~~**~~~

The Captain’s quarters was spartan, bare but relatively comfortable. Danny paced the small, cell-like room with it’s tiny bathroom, checking it out. It had been recently cleaned and Danny noted that personal items had been removed along with anything that could be used as a weapon or lock pick. Danny had been body searched and all his pocket possessions had been taken by Shirokov for safe keeping. The guard who did the search, Ressovsky, was muscular, sturdy and had a large burn scar on half his scowling face and made a comment, “Amerikanskie detektivi na tol'ko tolstyye!”

“Russkiye moryaki - idioti.” Danny countered with a snarl. The man’s brutal touch had lingered too long, and he called Danny fat. Danny calling the underling an idiot made him enraged. Ressovsky rose and backhanded an unprepared Danny across the cheek, causing him to bite his tongue and stumble against a unforgiving metal desk. Danny was furious and uttered the worst curse he knew in Russian, hoping baby McGarrett would forgive him this once, since it wasn’t in English. 

“Suka, blyad!” Danny spit blood on the Ressovsky’s uniform and before the dark angry Russian could respond, Danny knocked him out with a wicked right fueled by powerful baby hormones. Danny lowered his fisted arms to defend his middle, but Ressovsky moaned on the floor and rubbed his jaw. Shirokov belatedly shouted his orders to cease and desist. 

Ressovsky got to his feet and Shirokov dismissed him with a disgusted glare that had the hot tempered sailor quivering as he sculked away. Shirokov went to Danny and tried to look at the bruise blossoming on his cheek and jaw. Danny pulled away and wiped his bloody mouth with the back of his hand. 

Shirokov backed away and offered a handkerchief instead. “I apologize, Detective Williams. I think Ressovsky underestimated you as did I. Are you injured anywhere else? I will have our doctor look in on you.”

Danny wiped his mouth again and grimaced at the pain in his cheek. “That won’t be necessary. I’m fine. I’ve been slapped harder on the cheek by Jersey girls under the Atlantic City boardwalk.”

“I insist. And I assure you Ressovsy will be severely punished.”

“Okay. It’s okay. I don’t need a doctor. The bleeding stopped already. An ice pack might be good. And a less touchy-feely guard. You are the one who might need a doctor when Commander McGarrett sees my not so pretty face.”

“Yes, I can imagine that conversation. Be certain, Detective Williams, this will not happen again. I will see about an ice pack and order some food for you while you rest. There is some vodka and whisky in the Captain’s cabinet, a drink perhaps? To ease the pain?” Shirokov nodded tersely and walked out, he locked the door behind him.

Danny slumped in the Captain’s wooden desk chair. He looked at the bunk that pulled down from the wall and sighed. There was an ugly green naugahyde couch across one wall. He stayed where he was. Danny’s back hurt as well as his hip where he hit the desk. He could feel a bruise growing, hot and tender. He rubbed his tummy to comfort the baby in his womb who felt to Danny like it was trying to give his Danno back up by trying to kick and punch his/her way out.

“Hush, Lil’ Mac. Danno’s sorry he pumped all that adrenaline into you. You’re okay, right? Mother darning socks, I wish these hormones would leave me alone for a while. I never should have engaged Boris Badenov like that. Not with you along for the ride. Your daddy never should have let me do this. Your daddy is always to blame for what happens to me, you, uh, might as well learn that now. But we love him just the way he is. A big cuddly goofball with a tendency to solve problems by blowing them up. You wait, Lil’ Mac, your Daddy is going to throw a superSEAL hissy fit when he sees what they did to me. Let me tell ya, babe, it’s worth a few black and blues to see that man go all big eyed and ballistic over me getting knocked around a little. That’s how he shows his love. Never forget that.”

The baby’s kicking slowed down as Danny relaxed and took slow, deep breaths. He closed his eyes and tried not to think of the locked door and the sealed room he was in.  
When Danny reopened his eyes a few seconds later, he tried not to notice how the walls were too close together. He checked the caged clock on the wall and groaned. He could talk to Steve in three hours.

Danny lifted himself out of the chair slowly. He stood and stretched carefully, rubbing the small of his back with a fist. He opened the Captain’s cabinet, thinking vodka was off limits, but a nice big vodka bottle would make a good weapon should Badenov return alone. Dany laughed when he saw four mini-bottles of vodka and two of whisky, plus a tin of nuts and a covered candy dish filled with timeless and probably ancient ribbon hard candy. The bar glasses, were two enameled mugs. 

“Look at this, Lil’ Mac. Thank the heavens for Capitalism, huh? Walmart probably has more liquor and snacks than this poor schmuck has seen in his entire life. What a world, huh? Don’t fret, babe, maybe you’ll be the one who evens out the wealth and feeds all the children. Danno loves you. Let’s feed you some protein and water, Okay?”

Danny took a cup and the mixed nuts and headed to the sink. The water pressure was low, but eventually the cup filled. “There you go, babe. Danno will try to do some of that lamaze meditation crapola Bodhi taught me. See what I put up with for you?” Danny sat on the ugly couch and swung his feet up on the cushions, defiantly leaving his shoes on. “I could meditate the heck out of a pizza right now. A heart of Newark pizza with ricotta and meatball slices. They can’t even conceive of a meatball pizza here. They look all puzzled and ask how do you stop the meatballs from rolling off the pie.” 

Danny found it really helped his claustrophobia to talk to his baby. He really wasn’t alone, and having a part of Steve inside of him gave him comfort and eased the anxiety. “Oh, you should know you are only half Hawaiian. Now, uh, I don’t care if you take to water sports like your siblings, as long as your daddy is with you. Daddy SEAL can buy you baby’s first surfboard for all I care. But you will not insult your New Jersey heritage by putting pineapple on a pizza. Just sayin’.” . He rubbed his tummy lovingly as he popped nuts into his mouth. After a short time the salt bothered his sore tongue, so he set the tin aside and drank a little of the tinny tasting water. He was almost dozing when the door opened.

Danny didn’t rise. He was expecting a meal of some kind and they could put it on the desk and leave. If they expected him to stand at attention when they entered they were dead wrong. Danny looked up as a gray-haired man in glasses and a dingy white uniform entered carrying a canvas bag. He was followed by two rather large sailors. They crowded the little cabin and made Danny’s skin crawl. Danny sat up and waved his hands in the air. 

“Oh, no. No way am I being examined by a quack who doctors out of a tin can. Leave me alone! Niet! Ostav' menya v pokoye.”

The doctor was silent as he nodded to the sailors. Danny tried to get to his feet, but the two goons moved too fast and held him down firmly. The doctor took out a white paper packet with no label and shook the powdery substance into Danny’s cup of water and stirred it with his finger. He nodded at the sailors.

“No! Niet! Niet! You can’t... “ 

The sailors held Danny down and held open his mouth. The unethical doctor poured the bitter fluid into Danny’s mouth and forced him swallow. When the doctor finally released his jaw, Danny yelled, “Suka, blyad! You are a dead men walking! My SEAL will kill you and bury the bodies in an underwater cave where the fishies will eat your eyeballs…”

Danny suddenly forgot what he was saying… or why he was upset… or where he was. “Steve? Com’ on, babe. Let’s go to bed, I’m tired, so tired… rub my head?”

~~~**~~~

Steve was vibrating with worry for Danny and his unborn child as he entered headquarters. His brief trip to the Russian Federation Consulate was a bust and left him frustrated and enraged. Even threatening to revoke the scumbag Malcolm’s diplomatic credentials led nowhere. He entered the Five-0 offices and was surprised to see Jerry and Stella at the main command station. Jerry had one leg resting on a medi-knee scooter for his injured ankle and was leaning slightly against Stella who’s hand gently massaged circles on his back.

“Hey, Scooter! I thought you were out for the count for a few more days.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t stay away. I predicted the day would come when the Russians invaded Hawaii.” 

Steve nodded his understanding. “Hey, Stella.” Steve embraced his sister-in-law with a hug that lasted a little too long as Steve soaked up some Williams-type love, even if it was the wrong Williams. 

Stella was obviously helping Jerry to get around. Steve knew she had visited Jerry everyday at the hospital. Not the most romantic of settings, but Stella must be enjoying being a caregiver to such a big-hearted man. Steve wondered fleetingly if they had actually gone on some traditional dates. Seeing them together made him miss Danny fiercely.

Stella pulled back slightly and searched Steve’s face. “Oh, God, Steve. Where is Danny?”

Steve looked over her head at Jerry as if asking for emotional support. “He’s… he stayed behind on the submarine, okay? He is, uh, conducting interviews…”

Jerry froze and his eyes went wide. “They took Detective Williams hostage? Steve! They are gonna find out he’s pregnant! They are going to freak out! What are you going to do? How can I help?”

“What I’m going to do is find Petrov. Jerry what have you got?” Steve kept an arm around Stella as they watched the screen. Steve thought only a moment about sending her away, but if she were serious about Jerry, she deserved to see him shine protecting her brother.

“Lou, Tani and Junior are out on a lead.” Jerry threw the pertinent information up on the screen. “Cop killed. His cruiser stolen. They found a Russian uniform at the scene and the cruiser’s onboard computer was used to find the address of Lee and Nancy Sterling. When they arrived, they found the Sterlings dead. Drowned in the pool still tied to chairs. They were tortured, Steve. As if for information. Tani found a communications room hidden in their home. You mentioned that Petrov was after the GRU deep cover spy who killed his parents? I think the Sterlings might have known who that was. I am going to try and access any calls made from the Sterlings phone. I think we may have stumbled on a massive sleeper cell, Steve.”

For once Steve was glad for Jerry’s conspiracy-conjuring mindset. “Good job, Jerry. Keep digging. Stella, I need to set up an old-fashioned ham radio. Danny’s going to be allowed to use the radio at sixteen hundred hours and I need to be ready. Will you come downstairs and help me grab what I need?”

“Of course, Steve.” She took a moment to kiss Jerry sweetly on the lips and whispered. “Thank you for being so brilliant. Danny’s lucky to have you on his team.” Then she hurried after Steve, leaving Jerry red-faced and determined not to let her down.

By the time Steve and Stella had the radio hooked up, Jerry had uncovered a very interesting fact.

“Steve! There was one phone call made from the Sterlings shortly after their demise. It was to a Monica Shore, a single mom who lives with her daughter, and it went to voicemail. When I checked Monica’s phone, I found out she had a call from the Russian Embassy, forty five minutes before Petrov presumedly called her from the Sterlings.”

“She must have been tipped off by someone at the embassy,” Steve deduced. “She and her daughter are most likely holding up there thinking they are safe. Jerry, get Lou to organize a take down at the embassy. I’ll be there as soon as I talk to Danny.” Steve glanced at his watch. “It’s time.”

Jerry nodded and absently placed a finger on the receiver in his ear as he busied himself communicating Steve’s orders to all concerned.

//This is Commander McGarrett. I wish to speak to Detective Williams without delay. Over.//

The old radio crackled to life as it glowed with a soft, orange haze that eerily crawled around the back of modern office desk. More static hit the airwaves and a heavily accented voice answered.

//Da, Kommandor. Only one moment, please.// 

Steve strained to hear the background noise on the open channel. He clutched the mic in his hand till his knuckles turned white. He heard gruff Russian commands and the sound of chained feet shuffling. Steve’s blood drained from his face as he realized Danny was bound, probably cuffed also. He wondered if Danny got pissed and put up a fight. Steve’s mouth went dry at the thought of his pregnant husband in a Jersey-type brawl. He closed his eyes and tried to contain his emotions.

//Com… Commander McGarrett? You… uh… you there? P … Please be there and not out blowing up random things out of wanton frustration//

Steve’s eyes opened wide at the sound of Danny’s voice. It sounded weak and slurred as if he were drugged. There was a definite stutter on some of the words and a hesitancy in his usual rant. He heard again the sounds of chains and knew Danny was doing the rattling on purpose so Steve would know he was in trouble. 

Steve answered carefully.

//I’m here, Detective. How do you like the accommodations?//

//Oh… uh… yeah, great, great. It’s like when we went tuny fishing that time. Just as fun a time as that.You know how much I love cozy, small interiors, boats and the ocean.// 

Steve clicked off his microphone button for a moment. He looked beseechingly at Jerry. 

“I know, Steve. He’s telling us he’s been detained and probably hurt. Hang on, Commander. Don’t let them know you know. Tell them we’re close. Maybe they’ll leave him alone.” Jerry placed an arm around Stella who was drawn to his side for comfort as Danny spoke.

Steve nodded and pressed the button.

//Danny, you hang in there. We are hot on Petrov’s trail. I’m on my way now to where we think he’s headed. As soon as Petrov is apprehended I’m getting you out of there if I have to cut a hole in that stinking tub with a blow torch.//

//Steve. I… I’m fine. Don’t get crazy and get yourself killed. They aren’t going to rough me up again… now that they know...//

Danny was cut off and Shirokov came on the line.

//Komandor, I hope you truly are close to ending this nightmare. I think perhaps you have much more at stake than I originally thought and a timely resolution to this matter is as important to you as it is to me. Over and out.//

Steve tried to open the channel again, but it was no use. He tossed the mic violently away, but luckily its sturdy twisted cord saved it from destruction. He began to pace, both hands clutching his aching head.

“They have him chained. I can only imagine what they have done to him. They must know he’s pregnant. Jerry, what if they try to keep him? Keep the baby? Do tests? Experiments?” 

“Steven! Stop!” Jerry sounded so much like Danny both Steve and Stella froze. “Steve you need to cool down and end this. Yes, Danny is in trouble. Yes, they probably tied him down, drugged him and examined him. But we are the ones who hold the winning hand. Once we have Petrov, they will gladly give up Danny. Steve. I’m pretty sure Monica Shore is just the tip of the iceberg here. We need to get to her first and get her to talk.”

Steve nodded and headed towards the door. He held it opened a moment, “Mahalo, Jerry. I owe you big time, buddy.”

Jerry hugged Stella close as he smiled at his boss. “Naaa. You don’t owe me. We’re all ohana. No one gets left behind, right?”

~~~**~~~

The moment Pavlov and Stone were booked, shackled and behind bars, Steve took the zodiac he confiscated from the Coast Guard and sped towards the submarine containing his life. This time he would not be searched, and his weapons were staying where they were, including the two grenades tucked in his cargo pants pockets. If Danny and his child were hurt, he might just lob them into the tophatch of the tub on his way out as a parting gift, foreign relations be damned.

Steve secured the rescue craft to the submarine’s out riggings, ready for the return run to the safe sands of Waikiki. Steve, in full tac gear, leaped onto the ladder and scampered topside. There were no armed sailors to greet him this time. He opened the hatch himself and announced loudly, “This is Commander McGarrett. I’m coming onboard to retrieve my man. This is not a request. Do not interfere.” Steve wasted no time climbing down, but rather tucked his feet and hands under the handrail and slid into the bottom, jumping off the ladder smoothly and marching straight to the command center. 

“Shirokov! Where is Detective Williams? You need to release him and hand him to me over right now!”

Steve looked around at the quietly terrified faces around him, as he stomped and flared his nostrils like a wild beast. He grabbed one young man with a clipboard and shoved him against the radar equipment. “Tell me where you’re keeping him. You understand me?”

The wide-eyed sailor pointed towards the right side passage. “There,” he squeaked out. Steve pushed him roughly aside and plowed his way towards Danny.

Shirokov was standing just outside of the open hatch to the Captain’s Cabin looking in. Steve heard Danny’s voice. “Keep that quack away from me, you tin can commandin’ idiot.”

Shirokov folded his arms and smirked. “Detective, please. Won’t you cooperate? The doctor only wants to remove your chains and attend your injuries. As I promised you are free to go…”

Danny yelled loudly, “Ow! Get your cold foreign hands off of me or I’ll kick you in your three inches, you freak!”

Steve barrelled past a startled Shirokov, who stumbled backwards out of the way. Steve grabbed the white uniformed doctor and threw him across the small chamber. He fell against the wall and sunk to the floor, his glasses askew. He moaned, but didn’t get up. Steve dropped to his knees in front of where Danny sat on the ugly green naugahyde couch.

“Danny, babe. You okay? What did they do?”

Danny sighed in relief as Steve explored every bruise on his face and arms with his fingerless gloved hand. “I’m… we’re okay. Get me out of these bracelets, huh?” Danny shook the heavy chains and shackles attached to his wrists and ankles. Steve noted the dry blood around the too tight cuffs. 

Steve turned and growled at Shirokov, baring his teeth. “Get me the key!”

Shirokov opened his mouth, then thought better of speaking and went to the unconscious doctor. He searched his pockets for a moment, then handed Steve the key without a word.

Steve rapidly unlocked the ankle cuffs and more slowly, undid Danny’s wrists. He flung the chains away where they landed with a resounding clatter against the steel hull. Steve brought each bruised wrist in his mouth and kissed them. “Danny. I was so worried. I was going crazy with it. I wanted to take over a destroyer and blow this piece of scrap metal out of our harbor. I still do.”

“Steve. I’m okay. They only knocked me around a little. Nothin’ I can’t take. But they drugged me and I feel pretty rough and nauseous. Listen to me, babe, I need to go see Bodhi right away. I need you stay calm and not blow anything up and get me out of here, partner.”

Steve eyes glanced at Danny’s bump. He swallowed his fear for his husband and child and nodded. He stood, carefully helping Danny to his feet. Danny swayed and Steve pulled him close and slipped an arm around his waist. “Shirokov, don’t say a word, you fucking piece of shit. I won’t ever forget that you hurt my partner. I want one strong, unarmed Sailor to help me get my man to our boat. Then I want you to leave these waters. If I ever see your face again. I will kill you. Understood?”

“Da, Kommandor. I understand.”

Danny patted Steve’s arm. “Steve, please. Rescue in progress here, remember? I’m grateful for the sentiment, but killing people is not going to help keep me from upchucking in this tuny can. And nobody wants to deal with that foreign affair. Let’s go.” 

~~~**~~~

Steve reclined on the double wide hospital bed at Dr. Nee’s clinic, specially made with anxious husbands in mind. Steve was calmer now after spending some time with the team rounding up Russian spies, while Danny rested at the clinic. Steve was enjoying the closeness of his partner, even if Danny and their child were hooked up to a dozen monitors for the night as a precaution. Bodhi had clucked and fretted over Danny, bandaging his wrists and icing his cheek, and taking blood for extensive testing. He finally gave Danny and the baby a clean, if cautious, bill of health. 

Danny was nibbling on the dinner Steve had brought him, picking at several of his favorite take-out dishes on a hospital tray. The TV on the wall was on and they were listening to the news, admiring the close ups of the team taking down the entire underground Russian spy network. 

Danny paused briefly between bites of lasagna and egg foo young. “Wow! You guys look really badass. I love the, uh, superhero formation you all naturally fell into.” Steve stole a kiss from Danny’s saucey lips. “They were easy busts, the reporters could have taken the scary spies down at that point. I missed having you two steps behind on my right, sweetheart.”

Danny bit into a breadstick and Steve waggled his eyebrows at the erotic image in his head. Danno wiped his mouth and hands with a paper napkin. “You, McGarrett, are a horn dog. You know I thought maybe the Russians would have leaked my condition to the reporters. I guess we lucked out.”

“I suppose. The sailors on that tub didn’t really have a chance to spill the beans. Who’d believe them anyway? Oh, I think we might have to add the President to our list of people who know, Danno.”

“Wow. Should I expect a presidential congratulations call when I give birth?”

“I kinda doubt it.”

Both men chuckled at that and continued watching spectacular shots of the Russian sub leaving.

“Steve, I, uh, I think I’m done, babe.”

“Okay, wha’? You want me to take the food away? You feeling sick? It’s that damn sedative those Russian fuckers gave you, isn’t it. I should have blown…”

“Steve, Steven. Down boy. I’m good. I’m good. Not done eating. Done with work, with Five-0, babe. As much as I want to be two steps behind on your right, I think our baby has had more than enough in womb adrenaline rushes. The Russians took me down too easy and if I had taken a real beating… Steve, I coulda lost our child. I was stupid to risk it.” 

Steve arranged himself around Danny’s monitors and pulled him close. “I know. I know. It’s okay, Danno. I guess we need you to concentrated on the motherly side of this equation for a while. I want you to relax and nest. Bodhi said you were supposed to nest.” Steve leaned in and kissed the top of his hair, then nuzzled into his neck.

Danny snorted. “Oh! Oh! I see how it is. Bodhi? Bodhi? You bonding with my baby doctor? Having little heart to hearts? I thought you liked formal titles, Commander?”

“Okay, well. I guess Bodhi’s more like ohana now. I was insanely worried when he was examining you earlier. Bodhi reminded me that my part in all this is to support and protect you when you can’t do it yourself because you have to support and protect the baby. He suggested I ask you to stand down, sweetheart. That’s when Bodhi said your nesting instincts should be kicking in soon and you would want to settle in at home.”

Danny sighed and this time did push the food away. He settled back on his pillows and yawned. Steve began to stroke Danny’s hair to sooth him to sleep. “Steve, it’s time for you to cut back, too. Go out on a high note from this Russian affair. Call Chin and tell him you’re ready to give up the reigns. We can have a big retirement party at the house.” Danny closed his eyes and spoke dreamily as he drifted into sleep. “Then we’ll be happy, forever.”

Steve disengaged from Danny’s light hold as he softly began to snore. Steve tucked the blankets around him as he slept. “Danny, I love you. But I don’t think I’m ready. Now if I only had the balls to tell you, I don’t think I can retire, ever.”

~~~**~~~

The surprise couple’s baby shower at the Williams-McGarrett home was winding down. Grace and Chloe had once again pulled off a party more logistically complicated than the most covert of Steve’s classified missions. It was actually the first baby shower Steve, Danny and most of the male guests had ever attended. Stella, an old pro at showers, had handed out beers and started a co-ed volleyball game to ease the men into the queendom of cutesy onesies, designer booties and chocolate-laced, baby-pastel colored sheet cakes with coordinating paper and plastic tableware. The adults had cleaned up the remains of very silly shower games and baby-themed wrapping paper and left with many an aloha hug. Grace and her two best girlfriends were changing into pajamas so they could have a sleep over, binge-watching their favorite shows and squeee-ing like fangirls. 

Danny had loved the shower and the thoughtful, funny gifts, especially the mini-Mets uniform and matching, baby’s first catcher’s mitt, sent by his sister, Bridget. Of course Steve’s sister had countered with a unisex footie sleeper in sailor blue camo and a plush, rainbow-hued toy surfboard. Danny couldn’t help but wish they were also celebrating Steve and his retirement, but Steve had made no attempts to get that leaded ball rolling. Danny tried not to think about it any more and just enjoy the special day with his friends and family. 

Danny waddled through the house, enjoying the open windows and the salty, sweet scent of the spring breeze off the ocean. He had recovered splendidly from his ordeal with the Russians and had officially set his retirement plan in motion. He deferred any parties or gold watch tributes until Steve was ready to join him. At the moment, Danny was on medical leave, which would be followed by the use of his accumulated vacation time. Danny hoped that would be enough time for Steve to get his affairs in order and officially retire with Danny after the baby was born. The only problem was that Steve was avoiding setting down a date, making a plan, or actually signing any of the myriad of forms that would give him a new lease on life.

Chin and Danny had spoken a few times on the phone about Steve’s obvious reluctance to retire. Chin had advised to take it slow, let Steve work it out for himself. Chin assured Danny he was ready to take over and his and Abby’s replacements were already in place and being trained by Chin himself. The unspoken plan was that Steve had until the baby’s birth to get his head together. But Danny was not famous for being patient.

Steve had disappeared along with Charlie a few hours ago and Danny suspected his boys had enough of gushing, baby-drunk women and sugar rushes and sought sanctuary somewhere manly and cave-like. Danny checked Charlie’s room and found it empty. Then he heard the sound of a TV coming from Steve and his bedroom. He stopped outside the room when he thought he heard someone sniffling. Concerned, he hastened to open the door.

Steve was propped up by pillows on the bed. On his right side, the sleeping golden head of their cherub like son was nestled on Steve’s thigh. Eddie’s furry face and paws dozed on Steve’s other side. Steve was absently stroking both sleepyheads but his attention was riveted to the screen. Danny was shocked to see silent tears making their way down Steve’s cheek. Danny tuned in to the movie and couldn’t believe it. Steve was watching, _Enemy Mine,_ and crying like a schoolgirl.

Danny’s heart squeezed in his chest. He remembered watching the movie with Steve years ago. At the time, Steve didn’t understand why Danny teared up at the scene where the alien lizard-like being gave birth and entrusted his son to his human enemy turned dear friend before he died from complications. Danny had explained his emotions with a vague, “You’re not a father.” 

Now his Steven was a father, soon to be a daddy to his own child. Danny entered the bedroom and without a word climbed into bed beside Steve. He nudged Eddie who wagged his tail and moved over a bit. Danny flung his arm around Steve’s shoulders, allowing him to snuggle against his side while still watching TV. Danny grabbed a tissue from the box on the night stand and wiped Steve’s cheeks, lovingly, before giving him another tissue to finish the job himself. 

Steve looked up with a shaky smile and said, “I’m gonna be a daddy, Danno. A daddy like you. I want to be just like you, Danno. I want to learn how you love so unconditionally. How you make all the hurts go away with a smile and a kiss.” Steve leaned down to kiss his unborn child safe in his husband’s tummy. ”I love you, honey bun in the oven. You know that right?”

Steve looked up at Danno’s smile. “You have to be alright, Danno. You can’t die like the alien dude in this movie. I could never raise this child alone. The thought of being responsible for keeping a tiny human being alive scares me to death.”

Danny grabbed for the remote and shut off the movie. “Steve. I’m going to be fine. In three months tentatively on August 30th, our beautiful baby is going to be born. Our baby will have the best doctors in the world, a most responsible big sister, a very excited big brother, a loyal doggie and the most amazing, gorgeous daddy and that’s just in this house. I’m not counting the entire tribe of blood relatives and aunties and uncles. Steve, you will never be alone again, you poor slug!”

Steve rested his head on Danny’s baby bump and listened to the heartbeat more precious to him than life itself. He didn’t understand his core-shaking fear of commiting to a life where he could really spend time with the people he loved was making him feel like taking a classified mission and hiding in a remote jungle until his child was grown. Steve tightened his hold on Danny and closed his eyes, letting a few last tears fall from under his eyelids as Danny gently massaged the knots out of his neck and shoulders.


	2. Why Must I Be Alone

“You did this! I know you did this! What? What did you do, McGarrett? Pound out some ancient drum beats to evoke a magical spell and entreat the fire goddess Pele to erupt Kilauea so you could head the freakin’ unholy volcano emergency management brigade?”

“Danny. First of all, it’s Williams-McGarrett now, I’m proud of that name, you know. Use it. Second of all… what the fuck are you talking about. Drum beats? Really?”

Danny turned and pointed a finger into Steve’s face, fury evident in his deep voice. “Do not. Do not curse in front of our child, you uncouth animal. You know what? Forget it. Forget I was ever here. Forget I was ever in your life.”

“Danny. Don’t go away mad. It’s not good for your blood pressure. I’m sorry I cursed. Come back, sit down. You must be exhausted.”

Danny plopped down into Steve’s office chair. “Yes. I am exhausted. You get a call in the middle of the night that a volcano has erupted and is busy taking out The Big Island. Then you fly a helicopter into said volcano, I was up all night expecting a call that I was invited to a Steve BBQ, bring your own fire extinguisher. Mother of fiery Pele, Steven! You never even called! Which is why I am here. But you know, who cares, right? As long as the great McGarrett is battling volcanos and heading public safety task forces, who cares about the pregnant man you left behind!”

“Danny. I’m sorry but the Governor called all hands on deck. There are a thousand homeless people on that island. People whose lives are in turmoil. We had to set up shelters and estimate the damage, get eyes on fissures and lava flows, close roads, find safe detours and organize the police and volunteers. I barely had a minute to breathe, forget about landing the helo to call home. As a matter of fact, I was going to ask you to head up the volunteers at the temp shelters. I thought you and Chloe could oversee the shelters.”

“Yes, Steven. I’ll be happy to help out. And of course the Governor would call on you in a crisis. I’m sure Kilauea took one look at your, ‘don’t mess with me,’ face and quieted right down. That is not my point.”

“Okay. What is your point?”

“You love this. Erupting volcanoes, dangerous lava flows, toxic gases. You in the middle of death and destruction. I was crazy trying to build a life with you. You don’t want to retire, do you. Do you? You’d rather jump into the Kilauea crater and become charcoal than live a boring life with me and the kids.”

“Danny,” Steve wiped his nervous hands across his ash covered pants, “Danny, I love you. But you are partially right, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around retirement. It has nothing to do with you.”

“It has everything to do with me.” Danny stood abruptly, he clasped his own hands in a pleading gesture. “I’ve been trying to keep you alive for over eight years now. My ultimate evil plan was to retire and take you with me. I think we both gave enough of our blood, tears and souls. You married me. You agreed to have a baby with me. Didn’t you realize at some point I would actually have your child and need your help raising it?” Danny unconsciously placed a hand on his pregnant belly, as if to protect the baby inside from the realities of his life. “ I refuse to be like my mother, being brave while waiting to be a widow or widower in this crapped up case. I’m done being quietly heroic. I told you at the beginning of this thing between us that I would carry your child as a surrogate, no emotional attachment. Why did you pretend to want what I wanted? Why did you give me hope, babe?”

“Danny, Danny, I love you.”

“Oh, I hear that. I hear that. But I don’t hear that you love me enough to give up your dangerous job and spend what is left of your life with me. That loving me, that living for me and your kids is enough for you.”

Steve strode across the room and grabbed Danny’s arms. “Danny I don’t know why I feel like this. I’m frightened to death to take this leap with you. I’m trying Danno. I swear I’m trying.”

Danny shook his head and began to laugh as tears filled his eyes. “Don’t sweat it, Steve. I’m not going to force you into a life you don’t want. You think about it and tell me what you want as far as custody. I will never fight you, I promise you that. You’ll have to file for divorce, because I vowed I’d never leave you. You’re not adding me to your list of ghosts who haunt your heart. If this was a mistake, we’ll work it out and make it right. But, Steve. Know this.” Danny paused and brought a fist to his heart. “I swear from the bottom of my heart, I will never stop loving you.”

Steve opened his mouth, his eyes wide and frightened. Just then his phone rang and Danny pulled away. “Answer it. I’m not running away this time, like a sad little girl alone in the big bad world. I’ll stay at your house until we figure out what to do. Let me know when you set up that volunteer thing. Goodbye, babe.”

Danny left quickly and Steve let him go, for the moment, his heart torn between choosing a lifetime of duty or a future of life affirming love.

~~~**~~~

Danny put on his sunglasses when he exited the Palace. He knew the sun would bother his red-rimmed eyes. He ignored the security guard who seemed to want his attention. He was in no mood to be pleasant.

A group of reporters stood across the parking lot, close to Danny’s car. His blood ran cold when a cameraman turned towards him and shouted, ”That’s the guy!” Before Danny could react he was surrounded by a horseshoe of reporters, flashing cameras and shouting questions.

“Are you the first pregnant man in your family?”

“How far along are you?”

“Who's the father?”

“Are you giving birth to a clone?”

“How did you get pregnant?”

“Are you taking part in an illegal experiment of some kind?”

Danny was speechless and began to panic as the reporters closed in on him. He suddenly felt strong arms grab him securely and heard Steve’s official voice announce, “No comment. And this is a restricted area. Move on or you will be arrested.” Several uniformed policemen stepped into view and the crowd grudgingly parted. 

“Come on, Danny,” Steve whispered in his ear, “Let’s get you home.”

Steve maneuvered a stunned Danny into the Camaro passenger side and locked the door by hand, giving the obnoxious group of reporters a McGarrett, heart-stopping glare until they backed down. He quickly ran to the driver’s side, got in, started the car and took off. The rear tires threw a cloud of gravel and exhaust into the grim faces of persistent paparazzi.

Danny reached out to grab Steve’s arm. “My Uncle Dick’s plaid shorts! They know! How do they know?”

Steve stole a glance at Danny. “That phone call before you left my office? It was Jerry warning us. The story was in a Russian rag and was picked up by a news service. The Russian article had a blurry but explicit picture of you when you were drugged on the sub. It gave your correct name, Detective Williams, Hawaii Five-0. It’s all over the internet, babe. I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault. It was inevitable. One of the sailors probably made a couple of kopeks out of it. What do we do now?”

“Okay, well, I think we should announce it to the public officially through the Governor's office, dignified and secure. We’ll ask Bodhi to be there to answer medical questions and only allow exclusive interviews afterward if you want to. I’m not ashamed of you, babe. I’m proud to be your husband and the father of our child.”

In the immediate silence the Frankie Valli CD playing in the background added it’s own opinion of fools in love. 

Alone, why must I be alone  
I've spent so many hours with you  
How can I be alone  
Alone, why must I dream alone  
Our dreams were made for us to share  
How can I dream alone  
There's such a thing as forgiving  
So why can't you forgive

Danny looked at Steve, his blue eyes visible over his glasses. “Steve… Steve… I…”

Steve took one look at his lover’s pleading eyes and pulled off the road. Steve wrapped his arms around Danny and pulled him into a kiss fueled by longing and fear. 

“Danny, Danno. I love you, baby. Please, please don’t leave me. I’ll try harder to change, please, Danno. Don’t take this from me. I know I don’t deserve your love, I know I screwed up. I know I constantly screw up, but I want you. So bad.”

Danny kissed Steve deeply while running his hands all over his body. “Steve, I’m sorry too. I keep thinking I can do this alone, but I can’t, babe. I need you, babe. I just… I just… don’t die, Steve. Please, don’t die on me. I can’t live without you. We need you… so much.”

Steve began to calm them down. “Shhhh. It’s alright. I’m not going anywhere. Not without you. Why do we keep hurting each other, huh? Why are we so stupid?”

Danny snorted. “To paraphrase the eloquent words of the great Red Green, ‘we’re men and we can change if we have to, I guess.’”

Steve smiled. “Let’s go home, sweetheart.”

~~~**~~~

Even Danny had to admit the press conference went well. The Governor’s talented press secretary spun Danny’s pregnancy into a coup for America. As if being the first country to have a man give birth was equal to the first walk on the moon. They did their best to convince the public it would be downright unpatriotic not to admire Daniel Williams-McGarrett.

Dr, Bodhi Nee was charming with his laidback Hawaiian tone, answering most questions with authority while patting Danny’s hand like an affectionate uncle. All in all, it was pretty painless for all concerned.

Danny had some bittersweet luck, since the Hawaiian public was a bit more concerned with Kilauea’s lava flows and earthquakes than the first pregnant man. Danny spent a month secluded at home, with HPD patrols watching the Williams-McGarrett home for intruding reporters and freelance photographers. Charlie spent most of that month with his mom, while Grace took advantage of her new provisional license and a new, jungle green Chevy Bolt EV from good old ex-Step-Stan, running back and forth between both her homes.

Everyone was eager to get back to normal. Steve flew home at least once a week and stayed a day or two before heading back to The Big Island. The supermarket rags did manage to get some grainy pictures of Danny at the Nee clinic. But the accompanying story about Danny giving birth to an alien squid took away most of the validity of the piece.

In mid June, Danny’s seventh month, Jerry declared that internet interest was officially lost and it was safe for Danny to enter the world again. The first thing he did was grab his kids and go to help out at the Pahoa Lava Emergency Shelter.

Steve has taken charge of ICS command system, while Chin flew in from San Francisco to sub for Steve at 5-0. At first Steve and his large team of rangers, local police and volunteers were working sixteen hours a day monitoring the volcano and sending out civil defense warnings and updates about conditions. Helicopter pilots along the shoreline needed constant updates on the corrosive LAZE, a lava and sea water fog carrying hydrochloric acid, and Pele’s hair, abrasive, fine strands of lava formed glass fibers that could get caught in windshield wipers and scratch the windshields, decreasing visibility. Steve was making helicopter runs at least once a day to gather information, facing those conditions himself.

Chloe took over as the coordinator of the shelter, offering assistance and counselling to the devastated homeless. Eric and Stella helped out whenever they could. Stella was using her talents for design working with Habitats For Humanity in building tiny houses on land donated by Sacred Heart Church. These clean, ergonomically efficient, small homes gave the residents a sense of privacy and dignity, even while sharing sanitary bathroom and kitchen facilities. Eric, Jerry and the 5-0 ohana helped out whenever they could. 

Everyone was ecstatic when Danny called to say he was coming in with the kids to help out. Steve was eager to fly his family over to The Big Island in his private helicopter and show them the devastation of Kilauea from the air.

Grace and Charlie were snug in their restraints while Steve circled Volcanoes National Park, where Kilauea was located. He spoke into his headset. “Pele herself, the goddess of fire is said to reside in the crater of Kilauea. When she becomes angry, the volcano erupts. Her body can take the form of lava, a white dog or an old woman.”

Danny looked out over the vast lava field surrounding the deformed crater. Here and there you could still see fiery lines of lava slowly moving towards the sea. Columns of white water vapor clung to the crater sides as if fearing what was beyond the rim. Bright yellow sulphur deposits speckled the fields like dandelions. The yellow-tinted VOG scented the air with irritating fire and brimstone. And everything was covered with a fine dusting of ash fallout making entire panoramas look like old black and white photos.

Danny held his mic with two fingers to stop the vibrations and spoke. “Steven. Do not tell the children tall tales. This is scary enough flying over an active volcano.” Danny glanced at Steve’s face. “Why? Why are you grinning like a goof. This is a catastrophe! An earth-changing eruption. What is funny?”

“Danny, I’m sorry people lost their homes and livelihoods. But Danno, having you guys here surrounded by all this pristine beauty. It makes me happy.”

“Beauty? You find this fiery wasteland beautiful? Impressive? Yes. Awe inspiring? Yes. I am glad I got to see it with my own eyes, that the kids got to share it with us. Yes. But beautiful?”

Grace cut in. “I think it’s beautiful, Daddy. Like a brand new day with no regrets.”

Charlie had to add his two cents. “I think it’s coooool, Daddy Uncle Steve. Like the Jotunheim ice planet in Thor only with volcanos and fire!”

Steve laughed into his headset. “That’s my boy and girl.”

“Fine. You are all now officially crazy Hawaiians, waxing lyrical over hot rocks.”

“Danno, volcanoes exist only to cause change. Change is the only constant in the world. This devastation is the perfect metaphor for good rising from the ashes.”

“Wow, Steve. I like that. That’s what I call beautiful. I’m all about change, babe.”


	3. My Mother's Eyes

Chloe came up behind Danny as he was filling the second-hand shelter dishwasher with breakfast and lunch dishes. She gently wrapped her arms around his ample waist and gave him a quick squeeze. Danny grabbed her hand and planted a brief kiss on her engagement ring. “I don’t know how you lift that finger to type. That rock my nephew gave you is mighty heavy, Candy Girl.” Danny used the nickname Eric had for his future wife to tease her a little.

Chloe stepped to the side and fluttered her diamond-studded hand in the sunshine streaming through the kitchen window. “It’s too much, isn’t it, Uncle? I told Eric something simple, didn’t even have to be a traditional ring. You know how much I admire the depth of meaning behind the yin/yang necklace Uncle Steve gave you.”

“Naaa, babe. It’s perfect. My Eric thinks the sun rises and sets in your eyes. He wanted to buy you the very best engagement ring he could.”

“Hummm. I was wondering how he could afford it. But do I sense my favorite Uncles had something to do with it?”

Danny gave out one of his infrequent grins and pinched his future niece’s cheek. “Candy Girl, all I can say is don’t dig too deep. Sometimes it takes a village, ya get me? Or in this case an entire Hawaiian Island and part of Jersey.”

Danny suddenly gasped and held his baby bump. Chloe became all business. She took Danny’s wrist in her hand to check his pulse.

“Danny? Are you in pain? Shall I call Steve?”

Danny took a deep breath and blew it out. “No, no. I’m okay. The baby just decided to do a summersault and after, I get these muscle cramps that start in my hips and travel across my back and stomach. Dr. Nee said I might go into labor, even though the baby has nowhere to go. It just means we’ll move up the date for my c-section.”

“Uncle, that’s only eight days away! You could possibly be in labor. Let me at least call Steve to take you home early.”

Steve had rented, on the Governor's dime, an AirBnB on The Big Island, that had closed to tourists. It was a roomy old plantation house on a hill with a wrap around porch and a distant view of the lava flows emptying into the ocean. Steve had welcomed Chloe and any of his crew to use it and relished the days when Danny and the kids were working at the shelter and could stay with him. The splendid house was a dramatic backdrop to Eric’s proposal and had already been christened with champagne when Danny and Steve heard the news.

Danny took Chloe’s hands in his. “I’m fine, babe. I promise. I’ll go get a cup of tea and sit and gab with the residents. Steve is picking me up for a special dinner tonight and he’s buying, I don’t want to give him an excuse for closing his wallet. Anyway Steve only has till the end of the week and then he’s back at 5-0. Maybe I’ll make that my last day, too. I must admit, I’d rather be near Bodhi’s clinic if I do go into labor than flying over this volcano infested island with Steve and his death trap whirlybird.”

Chloe chuckled at her future Uncle’s mini-rant. “Okay. You go sit I’ll make you tea and bring it out. Two sugars and lemon, right?”

“Mahalo, Candy Girl. Use the Lipton, not the hoity-toity Earl Grey that Steve likes. I think he imagines he’s a starship captain when he drinks that.”

Danny carefully lowered himself into a relic of a rocking chair that a couple of the residents had dragged in for him to use. The benches at the community table were a little hard for him to take. He was never comfortable these days, but the old wicker and wood seat and back hugged his pregnant form in all the right places. He closed his eyes and sighed.

“Hey, hey, Mpreg. You feeling okay?” 

“Sure, Bones. Just needed a time out. You goons run me ragged.”

“We just like your Jersey coffee. What’s your secret, brah?”

Danny opened his eyes and smiled. “I’ll never divulge.” 

Light laughter rose from the table where several grey-haired men and women of every size and color were enjoying afternoon coffee and applesauce cake. Danny had been honing his restaurant managing skills cooking for the residents, trying to make tasty, filling meals from the available donated goods. 

The shelter was now an odd community of outcasts and Danny was amazed to find them policing themselves and watching out for each other. They accepted Danny as one of their own, delighted to have an interesting and notorious celebrity dishing out meals for them. One of the kids had dubbed him Mpreg and the name stuck.

Most of the people who lost their homes to Kilauea were insured or at least were able to live with family until they were back on their feet. It was the single moms, seniors and disabled that were still reeling from the devastation. Social security checks and minimum wage paychecks with no health bennies didn’t go far when trying to rebuild a life. Many residents wanted desperately to move on, but were struggling to find new apartments they could afford. 

Danny’s vibrant personality, caustic humor and family values won the heart of most. Mornings were something to look forward to, not dread, when Danny and his extended family were doling out Williams-style love with every plate.

In turn, the residents were very protective of their Mpreg, scaring off reporters and forcing Danny to rest if he looked tired. They spoiled him mightily, taking over his duties, unloading donation trucks and silencing homophobes who dared to use foul language in front of their adopted Mpreg and his special baby.

One of the older men, known as White Dog however, kept to himself. He spent hours mumbling about Pele, the fire goddess, in a quiet corner of the room. White Dog’s waist-length grey hair was held back by an old visor with a green fish embroidered on the rim. He wore an old army field jacket emblazoned with grimy sergeant stripes, rusty metal bars and faded patches, their symbolism, and the bravery behind them long ago forgotten. The sleeves of the jacket were torn away to reveal a dingy tee shirt underneath. White Dog’s tattooed, still muscular arms spoke of army furloughs and lost loves. 

No one really knew him well, although a few old codgers said White Dog was a damaged Vietnam vet who felt more at home in a jungle than his own hometown. His real name and background had been lost to the wrath of Pele along with his hut. Jerry had taken on the project of searching for White Dog’s identity and was combing through the VA’s database. But even Jerry had to admit some things take time.

 

Chloe had tried talking to White Dog from time to time, but the old soldier was delusional, living in his own world. Chloe believed he might be off his meds, assuming he had ever received proper medical care in the first place, and wanted to get him admitted to a psych ward for evaluation.  
Stella pulled up to the shelter in her Habitat For Humanity, four-wheeled, battery-driven cart and burst through the door, blueprints under her arm, then quieted. Danny was sleeping in the old rocking chair, a half cup of tea at his elbow and an afghan tucked around his pregnant belly. White Dog was the only other occupant in the room. 

Stella had come with good news for White Dog that his personal shelter would be ready as soon as it passed inspection, but when she saw Danny sleeping, she decided to wait until dinnertime to make her announcement to White Dog and the others. She didn’t want to wake Danny who was usually a very light sleeper. Although lately, Danny had been taking mega-preggie naps where a brass band would have trouble rousing him. Stella raised a finger to her lips and tiptoed to the back of the kitchen to Chloe’s office. 

After Stella left, White Dog rose slowly and pushed his long straight hair out of his eyes. He glanced outside, then settled his eyes on Danny, holding his breath as Danny softly snored. White Dog crept closer to him, then reached into one of the many pockets of his dingy olive drab coat. He took out a roll of duct tape, ripped it slowly and gently secured a piece over Danny’s mouth. Danny frowned in his sleep, but didn’t awaken.

White Dog moved quicker than seemed possible by one so frail, binding Danny’s wrists in the silver tape. He shoved the tape back in his pocket as Danny began to wake up. He reached into his breast pocket and came out with a filled syringe. Flipping off the plastic cap, he whispered in Danny’s ear. “Pele is still very angry, but this sacrifice will appease her.”

Danny opened his eyes, suddenly fully awake and instantly aware he was in trouble. He screamed for help and tried to move, but something cold pierced his neck and hot liquid filled his veins. His last mumbled words were a plea to spare his unborn child.

~~~**~~~

Danny woke to the rhythmic sound of metal pounding against metal. It matched the pounding in his head. He opened his eyes and thought maybe, finally, Steve had driven him out of his mind. All around him was a vast lava field. On the right, not far enough away in the distance was Kilauea herself, quietly rumbling as the undaunted Koa’e kea birds settle in to rest in her craters. Danny could see flows like solid rivers coursing through a barren land. Not completely barren, since hidden in small cracks overlooked by the creeping magma were delicate green ferns shivering in the warm breeze. 

He turned his muzzy head to the left and saw piles of misshapen rocks, some more like spikes than time-rounded stones. At the edge of his sight about a hundred yards away was a white cart. He recognized it as the one Stella used to get around the building sites. It was twilight, and here and there a phantom blue flame flickered in the landscape, fueled by the methane produced by the once plentiful plantlife burning beneath the hard crusts.

Danny tried to concentrate on the tapping coming from above his head. He tried to move his aching back, only to find he was tied spread-eagle by the wrists and ankles to metal stakes pounded into the lava. Danny twisted trying to see his captor who had finished securing him. White Dog appeared above him and Danny swallowed, his mouth already dry from the hot, ash- laden, toxic air surrounding them.

“White Dog, listen to me. You can let me go. You haven’t done anything yet but take me for a joy ride. Let’s go back to the shelter and get dinner, huh? I made chili. You like my chili. You always come back for seconds.”

“I do like your cooking and kind ministrations, Mpreg. But White Dog must do as his mistress Pele wants. I brought her wrath upon me. I wasn’t a good enough servant, but I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand that she was angry at you. Pele is a jealous one. She doesn’t like that you went against the natural order of things and are a man heavy with child. She is very angry with you.”

“Okay, White Dog. I get it. It’s nothing personal. You just think I’d make an awesome sacrifice. I can see your point. But what if Pele is angry that no one has given her credit for such a miracle taking place on her island? Is she not a possessive goddess? You take her rocks and you risk her rage, right? What if my child belongs to her and you hurt me?”

White Dog put down his hammer. Danny‘s eyes flicked to the potential weapon. He began to rub the back of his right wrist against the cracked lava crust. Given time, he might be able to cut the ropes. He needed all the time he could get.

“You mean the child you bear is Pele’s?”

“Well, how else would I be able to conceive? I have man parts. Believe me.”

“My goddess of fire chose you to bear her child?”

Danny wasn’t sure which way to go with this fabrication. He took a chance. “Yes. That’s why I’m here when my time is near. She wanted me to have a good guardian. Her favored servant to watch over her child. I’m very uncomfortable, White Dog. I’m hungry and thirsty. Why don’t you take me back to the shelter?”

Just then a deep rumble like thunder underground set the world to quaking. White Dog fell to his knees and chanted Pele’s name. Danny pulled against his bonds as an earthquake shook his prone body. Suddenly, he was wracked with pain as a labor contraction pulled his hips and muscles tight as if Pele were holding him in her huge fiery hand and slowly squeezing the life out of him. Danny heard a horrible growl to his far left. The lava crust had slumped, exposing a fissure that sprew molten magma into the air. “Oh, fuck. Oh, fuckity, fuck, fuck. Sorry, Lil’ Mac but, FUCK! White Dog, we’re too close! Come on, man. Untie me!” 

Small particulates punched through the air, landing with a crackling sputter on the colder ground. White Dog curled into himself as Danny tried to shake off the hot spatter burning his clothes. He couldn’t help but cry out as a few shards of fire meted into the skin on his exposed arms.

Danny heard another strange metallic scraping noise as the cart fell into the open fissure. A plume of ash rose from the sinking cart. Danny coughed and squeezed his eyes shut as the grey dust settled over them. He tried to hide his face in his arm. “Steve,” he whispered, barely able to talk. “Look for the new fissure. Find me, babe. Please. Please.”

~~~**~~~

Steve admired the sunset as he landed his helo precisely on the marked off yellow circle on an old baseball diamond now put into service as the Port of Helo for Pahoa Lava Emergency Shelter. He strutted across the field heading to the shelter kitchen to pick up his husband. A full night of dancing, dining and romancing was on his mind.

Steve opened the door to a full house. He waved his hand with a gracious, “Aloha, everybody,” and was met with greetings and raised plastic cups. Steve went around the serving counter and threw his arms around Chloe and Stella who were busy handing out dessert. “How are you lovely ladies tonight? I would think no one would want dessert with you two sweet things around.”

Chloe and Stella both pushed him off. Stella pretended to be offended. “Don’t waste that charm on me, brother-in-law. I’m still pissed you whisked my brother away before dinner. Thank God Danny made crock pot chili and cornbread, but a note would have been nice since he stole my ride.”

“What are you talking about, sistah? I’m here to pick up Danny for a date night. He’s not here?”

Chloe and Stella exchanged worried looks. Stella wiped her hands and turned to Steve as Chloe finished handing out carrot cake. ”Brah, I assumed he took my cart. We all share the thing. I leave the keys in it and the guys take it all the time. It’s been gone a coupl’a hours. I tried to call him but his phone was chargin’ in the kitchen. I thought Danny went to meet you and you swept him off his feet.”

Chloe added, “Uncle Steve, I almost called you to pick him up earlier. I think he might have had some pre-labor pain. He went to sleep in the rocker and when we went to check on him, he was gone and so was the cart. That must have been about three o’clock.”

Steve circled the counter and went to the rocker. He picked the afghan up off the floor and something fell out. It was a used syringe. He reached in his pocket for a crime scene glove and picked the syringe up, smelled it and wrapped it in the glove to preserve any trace or prints. He immediately turned to Stella. “Stell, was anyone here with Danny when he was sleeping? Anyone hanging out?”

“Well, just that crazy old guy, White Dog. Wha’? You think he took my cart?”

Steve held up the incriminating syringe. “I think he took Danny.”

Steve pulled out his phone to call the local PD, emergency services and his team, as he ran to his helicopter. He did a quick check of his gages and saw his fuel tank was still registering full. He had planned to show Danny the Kilauea lava fields at night, then set down at an exclusive restaurant, and over virgin fru-fruity drinks surprise Danny with the announcement that he was finally ready and looking forward to retiring.

He wanted to tell Danny what finally changed his mind. It wasn’t really Danny’s love or the love he had for his husband and children, or the opportunity to be a respected restaurateur, he’d known for a long time that his loved detective work, one of the reasons he admired Danny so much. Danny wasn’t the reason for his change of heart, although his unconditional love was certainly the impetus for his soul searching. 

It was his deep-seated love for Hawaii. He wasn’t a religious man, he grew up hearing the bible and the folktales of his Island. For it was his Island. It was what he fought for and what gave him comfort. Before Danny, he could never depend on any person to comfort him, to be there for him. But Hawaii was always there. Her oceans wrapped around him, keeping him afloat. Her natural beauty filled his heart where only scenes of death and despair lived before. In the months he had been watching Kilauea, he felt as if the Islands were talking to him. Telling him that life was only about change. A man must change and live… or die. 

Steve knew his old life would lead to his premature death. He knew Danny was right to be afraid of losing him. The volcano erupted, the landscape was changed. People were hurt, had loss, but moved on. Kilauea would grow silent again. The ferns would grow and the Ohelo berry trees would bear fruit again, the Koa’e kea birds would return to their nests and flourish.

And like Kilauea, Steven Williams-McGarrett was at last at peace.

Steve gave up a prayer to Pele, just in case she could hear him. “Fiery goddess. Fight for them. Like I have fought for your islands all these years. Keep them safe for me, please, my lady. Please.”

A sudden gust rocked the helo. Steve felt a chill and couldn’t help but shiver. Like a whisper on the wind he heard Danny’s anguished cries, “Steve. Look for a new fissure. Find me, babe. Please. Please.” Steve shook away the otherworldly premonition and took off. He knew just where he would check first.

~~~**~~~

Danny pulled frantically at the ropes binding his wrists. “White Dog, please. We need to move out of this area. The ground is getting hot. Can’t you feel it? The air is full of sulfur dioxide. Pele, White Dog, Pele wants you to save us. Please, buddy. Please.”

White Dog slowly raised his head, his hair curtaining his features. The flash from the magma played across his careworn face making it seem demonic. “No. No. It’s a sign. I was meant to take the baby into the abyss. But don’t worry, the babe will not be alone, for I will finally be Pele’s lover and we will raise the child of flame together. I must sacrifice myself to Pele. She demands it.“ 

White Dog drew a large hunting knife out of his coat and opened it slowly, testing the blade with his thumb. It was sharp and glistened in the sudden ash shaded moonlight. White Dog looked up to find a full moon and smiled. “Blood Moon.” 

He crawled to Danny then knelt beside him. He began to unbutton Danny’s shirt to lay bare his stomach. Danny nearly jumped out of his skin as White Dog placed his hand on Danny to get a feel for where the baby was and how deep he needed to cut into him. Danny somehow knew the delusional veteran didn’t want to kill his baby outright. Danny began to writhe on the harsh lava bed trying to roll away from the cold blade.

“No. No. Please, White Dog, Please. Don’t hurt the baby. Why don’t you kill me and raise the baby yourself? Raise Pele’s child, huh? Huh? Sound good?”

Off in the distance Danny heard the sound of chopper blades cutting through the air. He knew it was Steve. But he was running out of time. Maybe the life they had imagined together was too perfect to be real after all. But they had come so close. If only he could stall the crazed psycho a few minutes more so that Steve would get to play hero once more. If only. . . .

“Listen. White Dog. I mean that can’t be your name, right? What are you like, a veteran? Were you in the army? What was your rank, Sergeant? Hey man, I bet you were a hero. Tell me about it.”

White Dog paused a moment and gave Danny hope. But then White Dog reached in his pocket and took out the duct tape and covered Danny’s mouth again. Danny closed his eyes and tried to breathe. Suddenly pain became his world. He could feel the blade carve a line straight across his belly. He screamed for Steve as the blood pounded in his ears. He didn’t want to black out. He wanted to see his baby in his last moments of life.

With the last of his strength he pulled at his restraints and found the right metal stake in his hand, loosened by the earthquake. Despite his excruciating pain, Danny calmed himself, calculated his next actions and plunged the stake into White Dog’s heart. 

White Dog gasped and looked at his chest in surprise as the knife dropped from his fingers. White Dog looked up to see a dark silhouette surrounded by a white light and banked by the glow from blue flame.

“No! Diabolo! You can not take me. I am for Pele!” 

With the strength of the insane, White Dog ran to the gaping fissure of molten lava and dived in. His screams lasted only a moment as Pele accepted him into her arms.

“Danny? Oh, God. Danny!”

Steve had a gun in one hand and an emergency backpack in the other. He dropped to Danny’s side. Not quite knowing what to do first. His eyes were wide with fear as he leaned in. “Danny? It’s Steve. Can you hear me?” He gently removed the tape from Danny’s mouth and was relieved at the gasp of air Danny took in and the exhaled whisper of, “Steve,” on his ashen lips. Steve rummaged in the bag for a pressure bandage to try and stop the bleeding. There was so much blood already. 

The flare up of pain opened Danny’s eyes. “Steve. Steve, oh, babe.”

“Shh. Danno. White Dog’s dead. You’re gonna be alright. I’m gonna get this bleeding stopped and then carry you to the helo. You’re gonna be fine.”

“Steve. The baby.”

Steve took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice steady. “Is gonna be fine.”

“Steve. Steve. You have to save the baby. You have to get the baby… ahhh… out, out of me.”

“What? Danny, no.”

“Steve we are both going to die if you don’t. You have to finish it. The baby… ahhh... won’t survive. You have to take the baby out of me… and cut the cord.”

Steve closed his eyes a moment. He almost laughed hysterically when the death scene from Enemy Mine popped into his head. But that movie had ended tragically and Steve would not allow that to happen to his Danno. He knew Danny was right. From what he could see, Danny’s womb was already cut. Danny’s blood loss and blood in the womb would kill their child.

“Steve, please. I… don’t want our baby to die. And I want to see our baby before… Please. babe, I’m beggin’ you.”

Steve knew what he had to do. He got out a flashlight and held it with his mouth. He carefully cleaned the wound, so he could access the damage. Then reapplied the pressure bandage. He reached back into his pack and pulled out a syringe. He plunged it into Danny’s thigh.

“I gave you a half dose of morphine, sweetheart. It won’t hurt the baby, just make the baby sleepy.”

Danny nodded as Steve stroked his hair, waiting for Danny’s pain to ease. “Danny. I love you so much. You hold on with all you have. This isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning for us.”

Danny sighed as the pain finally eased. “Steve, I love you with all I am and always will. I want to say a few things. Just listen, okay?” 

Steve smiled and nodded, holding his partner’s one free hand.

“I know you don’t want to retire, but promise me to be active in our child’s life and Charlie and Gracie’s lives too. Don’t shut them out because I’m gone. I’ve asked Eric and Chloe to take the kids if I were to die and they agreed. But you’ll be able to visit whenever you want, babe. The best of both worlds, right? I love you… more than life, babe.”

Steve began to shake his head. “Danny. Danny, you don’t understand…”

But Danny could no longer hear him. He was floating on a cloud of water vapor above the Island. He floated a long time and finally came to rest at a stage side table in a dingy bar in Newark, New Jersey. On the stage was a young Frankie Valli singing his heart out. Danny sat back and listened.

Back in childhood days  
I can remember loving caresses showered on me.  
Mother's eyes would gaze at me so tender,  
What was their meaning? Now I can see.

One bright and guiding light,  
That taught me wrong from right,  
I found in my mother's eyes.  
Those baby tales she told,  
That road all paved in gold,  
I found in my mother's eyes.  
Just like a wandering sparrow,  
One lonely soul.  
I walked the straight and narrow,  
To reach my goal.  
God's gift sent from above,  
A real unselfish love,  
I found in my mother's eyes.

Danny clapped enthusiastically, his eyes misty as Frankie joined him at his table.

“Thanks, Danny-boy. Thanks for joining me here. I gotta tell ya, buddy. You are in a lot of trouble right now. What did you do? Slight an old witch and get the voodoo curse put on you?”

“I know, Frankie. I try to be good. I even retired! But trouble found me.”

“Okay, okay. I hear that. Now listen because we don’t have much time. You got Steverino all wrong. He wants to raise this child. He wants to retire and be with you. He just needed some time to commune with a volcano. Go figure.”

Danny nodded with Frankie everything always seemed so clear. “And the song?”

“Well, baby blue. You gotta realize that you are sorta gonna be the mother in this thing. Now the kid is going to be smart like all of us with Jersey blood in our veins The kid will eventually understand you are a man and Steve is a man. But that won’t make no difference to an innocent babe. It’s love that a baby needs to thrive. You have that love in your eyes, that bright and guiding light your baby needs to find and follow. You are the only one who's gonna know how to mother the kid. Steve will make a great daddy, but he ain’t got a clue how to mother. The kid’s been with you safe and secure, listening to your voice and your heartbeat. Kid’s gonna be lookin’ for you, needin’ you. You need to fight for that right to mother the babe for a while. You’re gonna need that too. So none of this giving up crapola, Danny-boy.”

“Frankie? I feel funny. I think I’m fading. Am I dying?”

Frankie sighed. “I’m not an angel of death, babe. I told you that before.You got a choice here, don’t let anyone tell you different. You can die. Or you can live. Either way, I’ll stay with you. I hear the next stand-up act is a scream. Little obnoxious guy, Joe Pesci or somethin’. Reminds me of you when you rant at Steven. Let’s get some beers and order a meatball pizza with ricotta. It’s gonna be a long night.”

“Thanks, Frankie. I appreciate it.”

“Ahh, go on. What are hallucinations for?”

~~~**~~~

Steve held his beautiful baby boy in his trembling hands. He’d done his very best to save Danny and his son and now the sweet, precious child was crying in his arms. Steve soothed the little babe with his voice and wrapped him in the warm tee shirt from his own back. The baby cooed and settled against Steve’s broad chest. Steve leaned down carefully and called Danny back from oblivion, or Newark in this case. “Danny? Danno, wake up. There’s someone who wants to see your pretty blue eyes.”

Danny’s eyelids fluttered and he mumbled, “Thanks for the pizza, Frankie.”

Steve chuckled, knowing who Danny had been visiting. The baby reacted to his Danno’s voice, reaching out for the sound of comfort and safety he had known for nine months. “Danny? Danny look. Our boy is here.”

Danny tried hard to comprehend what Steve was saying. “Steve? Wha’? Our boy?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, our boy.”

Danny turned his head, that was now resting on something soft, towards the fretful, wiggling bundle, Steve was holding. Danny found his arms were free and he reached for his baby. “A boy. We made a boy. Steve. He’s so beautiful. Look at that tiny face! He looks like you!”

“He better, after all we’ve been through. But his voice is all Williams.”

The baby flung out a tiny fisted arm in a miniature version of Danny’s famous windmill hand gesture. Both parents giggled unashamedly as Danny let his little man grab onto his finger.

“Steve. Steve. I… love him, love you both so much.”

“It’s okay, babe. I know. I’m going to give you another shot, sweetheart. When you wake up it will be in a soft bed with your baby in your arms.”

“Both my babies I hope.”

Steve prepared Danny and the baby as best he could for transport. He kissed Danny’s lips. “Hang on, Danno. We need you.”

Steve cradled his baby to his chest, and told him for the first time, “I love you, son.”


	4. Who Loves You?

Steve haunted the Ka’u hospital nursery driving the pediatric nurses crazy with his demands to hold his child and give every feeding himself. The Williams-McGarrett baby boy was a healthy, eight pounds, seven ounces and a long-legged twenty-one inches long. He was a ravenous eater and settled down quickly, the picture of contentment in Steve’s tattooed arms. Despite his unorthodox entry into the world he was pronounced a nine on the apgar scale. Steve was determined to ask Dr. Nee for a reevaluation and knew his child had to be a ten.

When the baby’s tummy was full and he was content and sleeping, Steve would head back to the ICU where Danny had yet to waken. Dr. Bodhi Nee and Dr. Cliff Silverman flew into the small rural hospital an hour after Steve’s frantic call. They took over Danny’s care and the local ER doctors were glad for the help with their extraordinary patient.

Danny’s biggest problem was blood loss and an incipient infection, since his wound was deep and full of ash and debris. Luckily, volcanic ash is caustic yet usually pretty sterile as was the lava crust Danny was tied down on. Dr. Silverman theorized that it may have helped stem the blood flow from the wound, giving Danny more time.

The incision made with the rough, unsterile knife was in the wrong place for a typical c-section, higher and longer. Cliff debrided the wound as Bodhi examined the uterus and closed the jaggard and messy wound with dissolvable stitches. The damage was such that he sadly voiced his doubts that Danny could ever conceive again, and might need a hysterectomy if infection set in. Cliff took over and closed Danny’s abdomen with internal sutures and surgical tape for the outer wound in case further surgery was needed. Danny also had some second degree burns on his arms and neck and the skin on his wrist and ankles were abraded from rope burns.

All in all, Danny was lucky to be alive.

Steve took up his usual seat by Danny’s bed, leaned forward and took Danny’s hand. Danny was still receiving blood and was loaded up on antibiotics as well. The soft hiss of the oxygen cannula helped Steve to believe this unnaturally silent and still husband was breathing and recovering.

“Danny? I really need you to wake up, babe. First of all, our son is amazing. He’s the smartest and best baby in this joint. Bodhi agrees with me. Second, Grace and Charlie and all our ohana are bursting to see you and give you presents. And now you have fans! There are actual people out there that think you are the second coming. You need to see the cards. Third, and this is most important, we made a huge, uh, oversight and I can’t make this big of a decision without your input, Danno. So please wake up.”

Steve felt his hand being weakly squeezed and Danny spoke without opening his eyes. “Wha’d ya do, Steven? Can’t leave ya alone for a minute. I’m tired,” he mumbled.

“Come on, Danno. Open those baby blues for me. I need you.” 

Danny blinked a few times and turned his head. “Steve?” Danny reached for his baby bump, pulling his IVs with him, and felt the bandages against his oddly deflated middle. His eyes grew wide with panic. “Steve! The baby, where’s the baby?”

Steve stood over Danny and grabbed his searching hands. “Shhh. It’s okay. Okay, Danno. You’re in Ka’u hospital, the nearest one to Kilauea and our son is upstairs fast asleep. I just left him. He’s perfect and healthy.”

Tears filled Danny’s eyes faster than Steve could wipe them away. “A boy? Steve we had a boy? He’s good? You seen him?”

“Danno try to calm down. We have a beautiful baby boy and he’s safe. You have a fever and you’re on tons of the good drugs so you probably are pretty muzzy. I’ll answer all your questions, I promise.”

“I want to see him. Please, I want to see our baby. Let me go to him, he needs me.” Danny tried to get up, but Steve’s gentle but firm, flat hand on his chest kept him from moving.

“Danny. Listen to me, babe. You did see him. Do you remember what happened?”

Danny stilled as memories flooded back to him. He began to tremble. “The lava field. I was tied up. I… I stabbed White Dog. You. You came. Saved me and… and… the baby. You delivered the baby. Steve, I remember his face. He has your face. He held my finger. It was so dark and scary for him. I... I got to see him. Please, Steve.”

“I’m so sorry Danny. I can’t bring him in here to ICU. But now that you’re awake…”

Danny leaned back on his pillows and let go of Steve’s hand. He screwed up his face and began to sob as he rubbed a hand over his incision. The despondent sound broke his Steve’s heart. Steve impulsively kicked off his sandals and got into bed carefully winding his long limbs around Danny and sliding behind him let Danny rest against his chest. He grabbed tissues and wiped Danny’s face, then pulled out his phone. “I got a few videos, Danno. The nurses helped me. Look, there’s our boy.”

Danny sniffed and wiped his eyes so he could see the small screen. He watched as Daddy Steve fed their son a miniature bottle and spoke to him like a goof. Danny began to smile. Like any proud daddy, Steve had made dozens of vids. Gracie and Charlie taking turns singing and talking to their baby brah, Daddy diapering the tiny butt and learning how to swaddle him. The marvelous vids were followed by several selfies of Steve and most of their ohana in the hallway outside of the maternity ward, looking in the window at baby boy Williams-McGarrett.

Danny took another tissue and wiped his eyes. He cleared his throat and snuggled into Steve’s warmth. Steve finally put down the phone and wrapped his arms around Danny, placing soft kisses on his cheek. “You feel calmer now, Danno? You want some more pain meds, babe?”

Danny closed his eyes and sighed. It was bliss being in Steve’s arms and knowing his baby boy was safe. He ached to hold him, but knew he’d have to wait. Suddenly his eyes popped open.

“Bite my cannoli, Steven! Baby boy Williams-McGarrett. We totally forgot to pick out names! What the fried fruit salad is wrong with us?”

“I know, Danno. Grace brought it to my attention along with a long list of potentials. I stopped reading at ‘Merlin’. Maybe you were too preoccupied with making up colorful faux curses. Or maybe we really are just a couple of men.”

“Well, I guess it’s time to walk like the men we are and get the job done. How about... Steven?”

“Mahalo, but no. He’d end up being called Sport or Sonny or something. What about Daniel?”

“Naa. Same reason. I have enough trouble with my nicknames.”

“Hey! Danno is a hell of a lot nicer than neanderthal animal.”

“Okay. Okay. Don’t have a thorny pineapple. Although technically, neanderthal animal is an apt description of you , not a nickname. But, no worries, babe, we got this. How about Frankie?”

“Really? Frankie? I like the sentiment, but Frankie is a hallucination.”

“Well, the real one isn’t. My pop would like that one.”

“Okay. That’s a no. How about Edward, after your pops?”

“Nice. Nice. But we got the dog.”

“Eddie, right. And you know our boy is going to love Eddie. It might be confusing for him when we call the dog for his chow."

Steve pondered the problem a moment then snapped his fingers.

“Oh. What about Matthew, after your brother?”

Danny didn’t answer right away. He held Steve’s hand a little tighter.

“Danny? You okay?”

“Sorry. Yeah. I… I couldn’t handle that, babe. But thank you. Maybe for a middle name.”

Steve kissed the top of Danny’s head.

“Okay, sweetheart. You wanna rest?”

“No. Let’s do this. I got it. John. John Matthew Williams-McGarrett.”

Steve held Danny a little closer.

“I like it.”

“Good. Done. Lil’ Mac has an official name.”

“What is with you and the weird nicknames? Let John John try on his name for a while before you scar him with your nickname fetish.”

“Fine. But don’t start calling him John John. Sounds like you’re having a stroke.”

The door opened and Bodhi stepped in, he stopped and clapped his hands together. “Oh! Danny, my dear boy. I’m so happy to see you awake and looking pretty comfortable. And you and your husband are already breaking about a dozen hospital rules. Congratulations, it’s a boy!”

“Mahalo, Bodhi. We did it! Steve saved us a bundle on your bill too, doin’ it himself and all. Did I tell you he was cheap?”

Bodhi laughed with relief, pleased to see his favorite patient joking around. “Don’t worry about money. Like I said nine months ago. Just let me write your story and I’ll be content… and famous! Now, Cliff’s bill, that’s another story altogether.”

Danny tried to move and was caught up sharp by the pain. Dr, Nee was by his side in a moment. “You don’t need to be in pain, Danny. I’m giving you a stronger pain med. You just rest against Steve until you doze off.”

Danny felt himself floating again but this time Steve’s arms grounded him and he began to dream of holding his son, John.

When Danny was out for the count, Steve got carefully off the bed as Bodhi examined Danny.

“How is he, Bodhi?”

“No sign of infection at the site. His temperature is hovering around a hundred degrees. That is not bad for post surgery. Let’s hope things stay this way.”

“He woke up hysterical. Wanted to see the baby.”

“Of course. I'm sorry to say that is expected in a situation like this. We’ll move him to the maternity ward as soon as we can. We have to make sure his lungs are clear. We have to protect Danny and the baby from exposure to any nasty germs. Let’s see how he is tomorrow. I am aware that he has a physical need to touch his baby. I hate keeping them apart. You are doing a wonderful job, Steve. The baby is thriving. When do you need to leave?”

“Leave? Oh, I’m not going anywhere. As of Friday I am a full time daddy and husband. I officially retire then. I’ve already turned in the finished paperwork to the Navy. And the Governor accepted my resignation. Monday morning Chin Ho Kelly is going to be sworn in as the new official leader of Hawaii-5-0.”

“Wonderful! Did you tell Danny?”

“He doesn’t know. He was so upset about the baby, we never got to it. I was going to tell him the night he was abducted. But we did manage to pick out a name for the baby. John Matthew.”

“An ancient name. A king’s name, yet humble and strong. I’m so happy for you both.”

Steve smiled and patted Bodhi’s shoulder as he headed upstairs to tell the nurses to change the name tags. His beautiful boy had a name.

~~~**~~~

Friday morning was a busy one for the Williams-McGarrett ohana. John Matthew was being released from the hospital the next morning, Dr. Nee insisting that a hospital was the worse place for him due to an infant’s immature immune system. The baby was not allowed to fly off The Big Island yet and Steve didn’t want the baby far from Danno anyway. So Steve called the owner of his AirBnB and booked his temporary home for another two months, hoping Danny and John could travel by then. The house actually had a tastefully decorated ocean-themed room available for young guests. All Steve had to do was buy a car seat, a travel crib and assorted baby boy paraphernalia.

Steve stared at page after page of baby items on his phone while in the hospital nursery. Grace rocked her littlest brother to sleep after his breakfast. She sensed Steve’s growing distress and sighed.

“What is it Daddy? You get another case only your Super SEAL skills can solve or is the Baby Gap app freaking you out again?”

Steve looked up, dazed but amused. “You are more like your Danno every day, you know that, baby? Actually it’s Target. Grace, why is there so much different stuff for a kid who could fit happily in an empty ammo box?”

Grace giggled at the thought.”You better not even think about putting Danno’s baby in an ammo box. You’d be able to hear his dulcet tones all the way back in Jersey.”

“You got that right. Grace, I have to get a handle on this. J.J.’s room had to be set up by tomorrow! It may be temporary, but he’ll need all these things right away! I really don’t want to leave Danno and J.J. right now to go shopping.”

“Chill, Daddy.” Grace placed her sleeping baby brother into the wheeled cart that doubled for a crib in the maternity ward, tucked extra receiving blankets around him and straightened the little blue cap on his fuzzy blond-haired head. She went to Steve and gave him a hug. “I got this. I remember helping mom with Charlie and I’ve been doing recognizance with Auntie Stella. We’ve been checking out baby stores on the Island for weeks. I made a list on my phone of everything we’ll need for a temporary nursery. The nurses even gave me a booklet on what a baby needs at home as far as medical stuff. There’s a baby resale shop called Keiki 2 Keiki where I can start and what I can’t get there I can get at Target and Longs Drugs. That is, if you lend me your ohana friendly credit card and your car.”

Grace backed away and held out her hand expectantly with a Danno-style twinkle in her eye. Steve knew Grace was a good driver, having secretly trained her with the Camaro at the Naval base when Danny thought he was taking Gracie to the mall. She had her provisional license and had been driving her electric Bolt as well as all her extended family’s cars for several months now, excluding the Camaro because her Danno said the thought of his baby driving his baby made his mind melt. Steve was confident in her abilities and grateful for all the errands she had run for their growing family, including shuffling Charlie around to sports practices and friend’s houses. Steve didn’t hesitate to hand over his rental keys.

“I already put you on the insurance, baby, in case of emergency. I got no problem with this. What would I do without you, Gracie? You’ve been such a good, responsible girl.”

“Mahalo, Daddy.” She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek as Steve reached for his wallet to give her the credit card. She gathered her things and put the card in her wallet. “I’m going to stop and see Danno on the way out.”

“He’ll probably still be asleep. The move to his new room this morning took a lot out of him. I told the nurse to get me as soon as he wakes up so he can hold the baby before we take J.J. home tomorrow.”

Gracie frowned. “Is Danno really better? I can’t imagine him sleeping when he could hold J.J. Is Danno coming home soon? I thought moving him to the maternity ward meant he was okay.”

Steve knew Grace was echoing his own fears. Danny had not improved overnight. He was restless, feverish and very emotional. His hormones yo-yo-ing and driving both of them crazy. Steve spent the night at his side, calming him when he demanded to see his baby, and reminding him why he had to wait just a little bit longer. Steve’s heart broke every time the scene was repeated and he had to watch Danny sink into post-natal despair. Dr. Nee had finally sedated Danny and moved him to a room close to his child to lift his spirits with a promise of being allowed to hold his son when he woke up in the morning.

“Gracie, he’s doing good, but like Bodhi said, this is a new frontier. We don’t really know how Danny’s body will react to the birth. It may take a while for him to stabilize and come home. But he has the best doctors dedicated to his case. He has the best care he could possibly have.”

“And he has you. I’m so glad he has you, Daddy.”

Steve hugged his daughter again, feeling like the luckiest man alive.

But then Grace pulled back with a puzzled look on her face. “Something’s different. You haven’t had any phone calls from 5-0. And you don’t have a hot coffee in your hands, ready to run. What’s going on, Daddy?”

Steve smiled and placed a kiss on Grace’s head. “I retired, baby. Really retired. And I’m more than good with my decision. I have nothing to do but take care of Danny and you kids and work on the restaurant. And I couldn’t be more content and happy about it.”

Grace’s eyes opened wide. She let out a strange noise somewhere between a yip and a mostly silenced scream. “Oh. Daddy! Does Danno know? He’ll be so happy!”

“With everything goin’ down, we never got to talk about it. I tried last night, but he was very muzzy headed. I want to tell him today.”

“Sooooo great. I’m gonna go. I’ll call you when I’m finished.”

“Mahalo, baby girl. I’ll take you out for dinner, wherever you want. Call Chloe and Stella for me later, please, and see if they want to come. Then we can all set up J.J.’s room. I think Eric and Jerry are flying over this evening with Charlie. I don’t think your brother will suffer any sibling rivalry as long as he can keep flying around the Islands.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “Ohhhh, he never shuts up about ‘Daddy Uncle Steve’s helicopter.’ Now he wants to be a pilot… but he wants to be an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and pilot the invisible stealth plane. Uncle Jerry’s been giving him advice on getting in. You know, get good grades, don’t do drugs, keep his room clean. The kid is clueless.”

Steve chuckled. “I don’t know, Gracie. He does those things and I might give him lessons when he’s old enough.”

“Lessons? I do all those things and more! Why haven’t you offered me lessons, Daddy?”

Steve looked up to see Grace was definitely serious and even a little hurt. “Baby Girl. I never would have thought you’d be interested. If Danno says yes, I’d be glad to give you lessons.”

“Danno saying yes. That’s the problem. With the pregnancy and all I didn’t want to tell him… but I decided I want to join the Navy, Daddy. Maybe become a SEAL. The recruiter at school says there are all sorts of prep programs available in my senior year. Daddy, I start my senior year in a month.”

Steve was dumbfounded. A parental pride he never knew he had pumped through his veins followed closely by a dread of his baby girl being in a combat situation, going through what he had gone through. With a sudden, crystal clarity he knew this feeling of being powerless to protect the ones you love. If wondered if that was what Danny and perhaps Grace, had gone through everytime Steve had gone off their radar. Any left over doubts about his decision to retire solidified into a plan that felt very right.

“Grace. I… I’m so proud. Yes, I think prep courses would be great. You need time to decide if it’s what you really want. You may want to consider college first, and officer training. The Navy… it’s… it’s not an easy life. You know that, don’t you? You can ask me anything you want. I’ll tell you the truth. And I’ll talk Danno into you at least taking prep classes, eventually.”

Grace hugged him again. “Mahalo, Daddy. I love you. I really have to go now.”

“Daddy loves you more, baby. Oh, and if Danno does wake up? Don’t tell him about John’s new nickname.”

“Got it, Daddy. I won’t rat you out.”

Grace flitted away leaving behind a lilting laugh and a youthful, smell of sweet Hawaiian blossoms. Steve.picked up his son who was beginning to fuss and sang him a lullaby, thinking about the wonderful new changes in his life and one thing that would never change.

Who loves you pretty baby?  
Who’s gonna make everything alright?  
Who loves you?

“Daddy does, my beautiful boy,” Steve whispered as a ghost of a smile flickered on the infant’s face m. Making Steve’s heart swell with a joy he never felt before. “Ka, J.J. You are amazing.”

Bodhi stuck his head into the nursery and spoke in a hushed but excited voice. “Danny’s awake. You can wheel John in. It’s about time he met his Danno.”

~~~**~~~

It only took a few minutes for Steve to roll John Matthew’s crib into Danny’s room. Danno was propped up, the bed raised so Danny could easily hold his baby. A pillow was already in place for Danny to use to feed him. Steve was slightly taken aback at how frail and weak Danno looked, but huge smile on his face said everything that needed to be said.

“Danno. Here he is. Our bundle of joy!”

Steve rolled the cart as close to the bed as possible and lifted John out as Danny flexed his hands anxiously. “Steve, oh, he’s so beautiful and so big! Give him here.”

Steve cautiously placed their son in Danny’s arms, making sure he was secure before letting go. Steve leaned over the bed and wrapped himself around both his boys, making sure he didn’t cause Danny any pain.

The baby fussed at the movement and opened his eyes. He looked like he was about to cry when Danny’s voice caught his attention. “Hello, my little man. I’m so glad to see you and lookin’ good too. Aw, you have your father's eyes... and my golden locks. Lucky kid. Remember me? I’m the guy you sucked the life out of for nine months. But I tell you this, you were well worth it.”

John stilled and made a noise like a wistful sigh, turning his head and looking right into Danny’s eyes. His tiny hands began to flail in Danny’s direction. Danny gently took them in one of his own and examined his fingers as if they were the most fascinating things he had ever seen.

“I think he knows your voice, Danno. Look at that precious little smile. He doesn’t smile much but when he does, it zings my heart just like when you smile at me.”

“Steve. He’s so gorgeous. I can’t believe we made something so gorgeous, and look at you! Handlin’ a baby like you’ve had half a dozen already. What is that face, huh? I’ve never seen that face on you before.”

“That's because I’m at peace, Danno. I finally know who I love and who loves me in return and who I can depend on to always be there for me. That’s all I need. You gave me all I needed to be happy, sweetheart.”

Danno leaned forward just a little to give Steve a kiss. “I love you, babe. Always. Remember that. I love you and will love you longer than forever. Remind Grace, Charlie and John that their Danno will always love them.”

Steve wondered briefly what Danny meant, since he’s just seen Grace a few minutes ago, but John began to cry and Steve immediately reached for the warm bottle he brought. “Here, Danno. He’s just hungry.”

Steve arranged their son on the pillow and handed Danny the bottle. Danny faltered as if he didn’t even have enough strength to grasp it. Steve wrapped his hand around Danny’s and guided the nipple into John’s mouth. He cast a worried eye at Danny and his son even as the sight of his husband feeding their child sent warm tingles down his spine. He watched Danny’s enraptured face subconsciously mirror all the tiny movements John was making as he suckled. “Danno loves you, John Matthew. Never forget that or... me.”

Suddenly Danny’s hand went limp in his. Danny’s head rolled back as he instinctively clung to John bringing him close to his chest. The baby started to cry in earnest as an alarm sounded.

“Danny? Danny? Oh, God, no! Danny!”

Steve pulled John into his arms and began to rock him against his shoulder as Danny’s doctors rushed into the room followed by a flock of nurses.

Cliff Silverman began to examine Danny and to call out orders. “BP crashing. Stomach distended. Probable internal bleed. Prep him for surgery. Hurry people!”

Bodhi took Steve by the arm and led him to the hall. “Steve. Danny is bleeding internally. It’s most likely he needs a complete hysterectomy. Do you understand what that means? Can you speak for Danny?”

Steve nodded then cleared his throat. “Yes. Yes I understand. Save him, Bodhi. Do whatever you need to to save him, his family needs him. I need him.”

Bodhi nodded and gently stroked John’s soft blond hair. “Take John back to the nursery, Steve. I’ll keep you informed.”

Steve watched as Danny’s pale still form was wheeled past him towards the elevator. He cradled John close to his chest, suddenly realizing that Danny was saying goodbye earlier. Steve called out in his best Commander tone, “Daniel Williams-McGarrett, your ass is mine. You come back to me. You hear me? You don’t have my permission to say goodbye!”

~~~**~~~

Once again Danny was ensconced in the ICU and once again Steve was breaking the rules by sitting with his husband long into the night and keeping his phone with him to make sure his little son and his ohana were secure.

Danny’s emergency complete hysterectomy had gone well, but Steve felt a strange sense of loss knowing Danny was missing a precious part of himself and couldn’t become pregnant. It wasn't that he even wanted Danny to go through the roller coaster ride of mother/fatherhood he had been on, again. But somehow having the potential taken away felt wrong, and Steve was silently grieving for his unknown offspring that would never have a chance to live. Steve was pretty sure Danny would feel the same. He promised himself they would grieve together for their perceived loss even if no one else understood.

It was an hour after dawn. Steve hoped the sunlight of a new day would wake his partner in all things, so he could speak to him before he left to take John home. Steve caressed the lax hand in his. Steve had been worried the night before. He feared that Danny had given too much, and didn’t have the strength left to give to his own healing. Bodhi and Cliff had assured him, that although Danny's body had been traumatized, the hormones now flooding his system, pushing him to seek out and care for his infant, might even help in his recuperation.

Their ohana had worked together as they always did in a crisis and everything was ready for John’s homecoming. Grace had bought a lightly used travel bassinet and placed it beside her Danno’s side of the bed he shared with Steve, hoping he’d be coming home soon. Steve insisted on buying a new state of the art car/airplane safety seat, that Jerry installed in Steve’s rental for John’s ride home.

The nursery was complete with everything a baby could need and several babysitters chomping at the bit to soothe and spoil the infant like a treasured prince. Steve insisted that he needed to bring John home himself and stay with him till he adjusted to his new world. Eric was coming at seven-thirty to sit with his Uncle, while Steve got his son settled in.

Steve’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He glanced at the caller ID. Joe White flashed on the screen. Steve let go of Danny’s hand and walked to the window speaking softly, not wanting anyone to hear him.

//Yeah, Joe. Thank you. It is incredible. A boy. John Matthew.//

Danny was floating just below the surface of awareness. He almost smiled at the tone of pride in Steve’s voice. He weakly moved his arms, his hands searching, hoping against hope that his child would be in his arms.

//No, Joe, he’s not okay. But he will be. Danny had emergency surgery yesterday. It went well, but he’ll be in the hospital a while. John’s been released, he’s healthy and as beautiful as he could be. I’m taking him home in just a few minutes actually.//

Danny frowned, the movement sluggish and strangely painful. He tried to make sense of what he was hearing. Steve was talking to Joe White about their child. Steve was leaving with Danny’s baby. Steve was leaving to follow Joe White again and Danny wouldn’t know where his baby was being held. It was too much for his muddled brain and he slipped back into unconsciousness as a few tears leaked out of his tightly closed eyelids.

Steve listened intently as Joe explained his current mission gone wrong. He watched Danny who had shifted a little in his sleep. He noticed the hand he had been holding was in a loose fist and Danny’s BP was a little low. Steve wondered if Danny was in pain. He had lost track of what Joe was saying. But it didn't matter.

//I’m sorry, Joe. I can’t. I’ve decided to start a new life. I might regret it. I might decide somewhere down the road that I made a mistake retiring from doing something I love. But Danny and I will deal with it then. For now I have to say no, Joe. I am sorry to disappoint you and I hope you can respect my decision. My little boy needs me and this is one McGarrett who’s going to put that first. As a wise music man once told me, I found my hell, I fought the fight, I bear the scars, I paid the price, I did my time.**I want my son to know and never doubt, who loves him.//

Eric entered the hospital room and glanced at his Uncle Danny. He looked up at his other Uncle with wide imploring eyes.

//I gotta go. Be safe, Joe.//

Steve pocketed his phone and quickly gathered his nephew in his arms. Eric held on tight. “I just hate seeing him like this. It tears me apart. I spoke to his doctor. He reassured me he was doing well, but, is it crazy that I’m sad he can’t have babies any more?” Eric backed away from Steve’s strong arms and wiped haphazardly at his misty eyes. He tried to smile.

“No, buddy. I feel the same.”

Eric nodded. “How are you doin’ proud papa? The girls, Jerry and Charlie have been up since dawn making sure that my cousin is going to be the most spoiled kid in all of Hawaii. I think they intend to spoil you rotten too, if all the food they've been cooking and freezing means anything.”

“Oh, man. They didn’t need to do that. I’m going to be here at the hospital with Danny whenever John doesn’t need me. I won’t have time to cook for myself.”

“Uncle Steve, this is your family, we want to help. The ladies in your life are not going to let you stress out. I would surrender now, you don’t stand a chance. You know how Chloe is with flow charts and daily planners and crap like that. And my mom is just as bad, ordering poor Jerry around like he’s already her husband. Uncle D’s gonna have a stroke when he hears how my mom and Jerry get goin’ on how AT&T actually runs the country.”

Steve laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever. ”Stella couldn’t find a better match or man. Jerry is a wizard with a big heart. He could use a dose of Williams-style love in his life, I know how lucky he is.” Eric did smile at that and gave Steve’s arm a quick squeeze in appreciation before he went to Danny’s bedside. Eric lovingly stroked his Uncle’s hair back the way he knew Danny liked it.

Eric didn’t look away from Danny when he cautiously asked, “Was that Joe White on the phone? You, uh, you’re not gonna leave for some superSEAL save the world thing, are you? I mean Uncle D is gonna need some McGarrett TLC and John, needs his Daddy.”

Steve crossed his arms, and shook his head at the very Danny-like question. “No, Eric. I’m officially retired and out of the saving the world business. I’m just going to save one little pocket of it just for me. I understand your worry for your uncle and cousin, Danny had the same concerns. I know he wanted you and Chloe to take the children if something happened to him and I bailed. But, Eric, I swear to you. I’m not going anywhere except my home with my husband and my kids in tow as soon as possible.”

“Okay, Uncle Steve, I hear you. It’s just that I worry about him. He’s the toughest cuss I know, but his heart is always hanging out, ready to be shot apart. I’ve grown up, thanks to him. I’m getting married, Chloe and I have talked a lot about having kids, after we said we’d take Danny’s brood. We talked about having kids of our own. I never had a father, but I’m ready to be one. I’m ready because I learned how to be a good father from my Uncle D. I want to give that gift to my own kid. The gift Uncle Danny gave me.”

Steve placed a hand on Eric’s shoulder and squeezed gently. He leaned over Danny’s still form and kissed him lightly on the lips. Steve spoke softly. “I’ll be back soon, babe. I love you. Eric’s here so don’t worry. Oh, and I told him for you how proud you are of the man he’s become. I hope you don’t mind.” Steve turned to Eric. “How proud we both are.”

Eric smiled shyly. “Awww, get outta here, Papa Steve. I left Grace in the nursery with John. You better get John outta here before she adopts a baby sister to go with.”

“Okay. Okay. Call me if he wakes up, or if anything changes. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Uncle Steve.”

Eric took Danny’s hand and began his vigil with a lighter heart. As hospital staff came and went checking on Danny. Eric spoke to his Uncle about sports and the CSI bowling team he joined called, The Ball-istics. That finally got a response as Danny focused on Eric’s familiar chatter.

“Eric? W’ere Steve?”

“Hey, hey, D. Take it easy. You want some ice chips? The nurse said you could have that.”

Danny nodded slowly, taking the offered soothing relief, giving himself time to find his voice. There were so many things he wanted to ask. What happened to him? Why was he back in ICU? Where was John? Where was Steve? Did Steve take off when Joe White called? All he could manage was a pathetic sob as tears he couldn’t stop filled his vision.

“Aw, no, Uncle Danny. Aw, geez, don’t cry.” Eric stood and wrapped his arms around his Uncle as best he could. “Everything is gonna be alright. Baby John Matthew is home with Steve and Grace and Charlie and everybody is just waitin’ for you to come home too. So you just gotta rest and get better real fast. I know you feel pretty crappy right now. But you’re okay, D. I swear everything is good.”

“Wha’ happen’?”

“You mean your operation?” Danny nodded. “You started to bleed internally. You had to have a hysterectomy, Uncle D. Your docs said it had to be and that you were gonna be just fine in a week or so. You understand? You want me to get your doc or you want me to call Steve?”

Danny shook his head wishing he could clear his fuzzy brain. Everything was so confusing. Steve was gone. Was he on a mission with Joe? He gripped Eric’s hand afraid to lose the comforting source of answers he was desperate for. He tried another question. “John okay? Can I see my baby, Eric?”

Eric hated the heartbroken sound of his Uncle’s confusion. “Listen to me, Uncle Danny. You should try to go back to sleep. Steve will be here soon and John and the kids are safe with Chloe and my Mom. You just need to rest and when you open your eyes later, everything will be less confusing. Trust me on this, okay, huh? You trust your favorite nephew and go back to sleep.”

Danny gazed at Eric’s smiling face and felt his heavy eyelids close on their own. Trust Eric. He could do that. He could hold on to his nephew till he found out if Steve had left him. “Yeah, okay, babe. Just, uh, just don’t leave me… please.”

“Shhhhh. No worries.” Eric patted his Uncle’s hand reassuringly, got out his phone and texted Steve.

~~~**~~~

The next time Danny opened his eyes he was in a different room and Eric was gone. In his place was a raggedy looking Steve with what looked like two days growth of beard and red rimmed eyes. Steve was staring intently at his phone, his thumb lazily scrolling from one item to another. Danny was never so relieved in his life. He blinked his eyes trying to clear the fog that had settled in them. He moved his right hand and found it was wired and tubed and slightly numb. He tried his left and had better luck as he reached out for his husband.

“Steve?” Danny choked on the name, his throat still dry and rough. Steve was immediately alert and had a straw and a glass of water to Danny’s mouth before he could ask for it. Danny drank a little and tried to speak again, turning to make eye contact. “Steve? Wha’ you doin’ here?”

Steve put down the glass, grabbed Danny’s searching hand then brought it to his lips. “Ka, babe! I was so worried. Eric said you woke up confused and upset. Don’t worry about anything. I’m here now. Everything’s good.”

Danny was more confused than ever. He frowned and tried to ask an intelligent question. “Steve? When are you leaving? Where’s John? Who has our baby?”

Steve couldn’t understand what Danny was asking. “Babe? I’m not going anywhere, I mean I’m driving from the hospital to the AirBnB and back, but that’s all. Danny, John was released, it’s not good for infants to stay in hospitals. I moved him to the house I rented. If I’m not with him, Grace, Chloe and Stella have him. Charlie is being a great big brother. He keeps the baby thoroughly entertained. John’s doing just great. I think we can bring him in to see you tomorrow. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Danny struggled to express himself. He tried to change his position but the fiery pain from his wound took his breath away. “Easy, Danny. Keep still. What do you need?”

Somehow the intense pain helped him focus. He felt volcano-like heat prickle his brain with flame. “What the fuck is going on? Fuckin’ Joe White calls to say jump to your death and you say goody, goody, fuckin’ gumdrops, fuck Danny, fuck the kids. Let’s go! Why are fuck are you still here? Why am I still here? What happened to me? I want to go home. I want my baby boy in my arms. Fuck you, McGarrett. Just Fuck you.”

Steve sat back in his uncomfortable chair, overjoyed that Danny was ranting again, but horrified at what he was ranting about. “Danny! Danny, calm the fuck down. Joe did call for my help, but I said no. I’m retired Danny, officially retired. Chin took over 5-0. I’ve been with our son and our kids whenever I haven’t been worrying over your ass here. I’m sorry, buddy, really sorry to tell you this, but you had an emergency complete hysterectomy. You’re gonna be fine and back to your old self real soon. I love you, and you are stuck with me, buddy.”

Danny grabbed Steve’s hand, not letting him move away. “You… you retired? You told Joe… no? You… you’re gonna stay with me?”

Steve sighed and rubbed at his tired eyes. “Yeah, Danno. I put you and our son first. I broke with the fucked up McGarrett tradition of fucking over their spouses and kids and put you guys first. And you know what? It felt fucking terrific. I’m so sorry, babe, that you can’t have any more babies. But look what we got, huh? Three beautiful kids and a good stable home filled with love.”

Danny bit his lip and fought back tears. He was tired of crying. “I’m not gonna grieve for my lady parts, Steve. It was a wild ride but so worth it. John’s worth it. You’re worth it.”

“Danny watching our son grow is worth it. He gained two ounces and he’s so smart, such a good baby. Stella said Williams babies are screamers, but J.J. only cries a little when he wants something. Sometimes, I wake him up just to make sure he’s okay. Just this morning, when I was changing him, he touched his toes. Grace and Eric have been reading the baby books Bodhi gave us and tell me he shouldn’t be able to do that till two months! Our boy is a genius! I love being your baby Daddy, Danno. I can’t wait till… what? What’s that face?”

Danny felt a gentle cooling flush to his skin as Steve’s words took away his anguish and pain. He let himself relax and began to smile. “This is just my face, Steve. This is a smile on my face. I love you, too, you crazy Daddy SEAL. And I did not just hear you call our son, J.J.”

~~~**~~~

Dr. Nee decided the best thing for his hormonally challenged and unique patient was an unorthodox approach to patient care. Danny needed to be with his baby. He arranged for Danny to be moved to Steve’s spacious rental, hospital bed, emergency equipment and himself included. He enlisted Eric to help him monitor Danny’s hormones. Bodhi would stay with the family for a week or two then commute for house calls when Danny was on oral meds and moving around on his own. The cautious doctor wanted to be on hand if anything unusual happened to Danny during his recovery. He also hated to see his time with the first man to give birth come to an end.

Bodhi, Grace and Charlie were making dinner in the kitchen while Danny and Steve were in the rental’s makeshift hospital room/nursery feeding John his own dinner. John was full and only sucking now and then on his nearly empty bottle, cuddled, warm and safe in Danny’s loving arms, just as Danny was secure in Steve’s embrace. Danny struggled to stay awake with Steve wrapped around him, playing with Danny’s hair and singing, “Who Loves You,” in a gentle, dreamy voice. Steve stood guard as Danny nodded off into a healing sleep and John’s head tilted towards his Danno’s steady heartbeat. The baby let go of the nipple with a tiny sigh. Steve smiled and reached over Danny to remove the bottle and wipe a dribble of milk from his son’s chin. The house was quiet, except for the small sounds of domesticity and in the distance, the rumble of Kilauea could be heard.

Kilauea might erupt again, turning the sky to flame and the land to ash. Change. That was what volcanoes were made for. Steve kissed Danny’s brow and pulled him and his precious baby close. Steve McGarrett had been through the flame and risen from the ashes, finding himself able to love and being loved in return. He finally knew with certainty, that was what he was made for.

~~~**~~~

Epilogue - Two Months Later

“Steven Williams-McGarrett! Get your lazy-boned, monkey flunkin’, rosy red posterior in here and clean up this lint lickin’ mess or I swear to Christmas and New Year’s, I’m going to hang your wash where the sun don’t shine and whittle you a new swizzle stick!”

Former Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett and his little son J.J. were huddled behind the big Koa tree on the Williams-McGarrett estate. J.J. kicked his feet, and gurgled happily, tucked in a snugli attached to his Daddy’s strong chest. Steve spoke frantically to Dr. Bodhi Nee on his phone, watching anxiously for a small rampaging ex-Jersey cop to make an appearance.

//Bodhi. Danny’s gone nuts! He’s sobbin’ on my shoulder at car insurance commercials one minute and screaming and throwing plates at me the next!//

//Oh, dear. I was hoping we were past this. Danny has been doing remarkably well adjusting to his new hormone levels.//

//What is it, Doc? Is Danny sick?//

//No. No. Nothing like that. It’s a perfectly natural part of the circle of life, Steve. This is exciting! I’ll have to add a new chapter to my book!//

//Bodhi. Focus! What’s happening to my husband?//

//It’s just a little thing called menopause, Steve. Nothing to worry about. Give Danny lots of patience and love...//

Steve ended the call as he spotted Danny looking their way, waving his arms. “Menopause and Danny Williams. Makuahine o ka pilikea!”**

“Steve!” Danny shouted, “Where is my gun?”

The End

 

 

 

*Lyrics from, Dust To Dust, by The Civil Wars.  
**Makuahine o ka pilikea--- Mother of trouble


End file.
